Leadership satire: Write log


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Monday morning, 08: 00 clock. Hannes sits in the office and prepares for the management meeting. A weekly ritual. Start 08: 30 Clock, Coffee around 10.

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Here writes for you:

 

Stefan Häseli Stefan Häseli Portrait 1_quadrStefan Häseli is an advisor for organizational development.

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Dic preparation

The latter is deleted spontaneously because of the overloaded list of tasks. Official ending 11.45 clock, in fact never before 12.30 clock. That's why Hannes prophylactically approves the coffee and lets his apple crack between his teeth.

The apple is new, it used to be cake. Since the internal “fit-for-work” program, the members of the executive board have selected intermediate meals according to the model approach.

The non-favorite job reaches him

His cell phone rings in the middle of the physical and psychological preparations - the office number has already been switched to the secretariat. His boss is looking for him. “Could you take the minutes of the session today? Ms. Blatter is sick. Because you have the fewest items on the agenda, I would like to delegate this important task to you. You know, basically, the secretary is the most important person - besides the boss. ”

"I'll do it," returns Hannes, grumpily. Reluctantly, he thinks: “I have to. Because of 'the most important person' ... a crude flattery. ” Hannes just doesn't feel like the second most important thing in the Company .

The session begins

Punctually - as always - everyone greets each other friendly and the boss opens with the same, officially funny saying for years: "then we burst". A short, staged warm-up laugh and you sit down - as always - in the same places.

The boss begins: “I would like to greet you all warmly”. Hannes writes down and stumbles across the word “wants”. Why “want”? He could just do it. Should Hannes now write “Declaration of Intent” for agenda item 1 “Welcome”? He has no time to think about it. It continues briskly with the words “We have a 'sporting' agenda today (this saying is always the same, just like everyone's calculated laughter).

The agenda items are swept through

The sales manager presents the sales figures from the past week. These have looked bad for a long time. His voice was already soaked with self-confidence. "Why didn't you step on the gas?" the boss asks. The sales manager: “The market situation is extraordinary. The competitors now produce almost exclusively in China and have better prices ”.

The production manager moves restlessly in his chair: “We are already working with the costs at the lower limit. I cannot accept that we are to blame for the poor sales figures ”. The boss intervenes and stops the blame by saying: "You just have to see where we can optimize so that we can become a little more competitive in terms of costs." Everyone nods non-verbally and with a mumbled “just” right ”. The boss got to the point once again. Hannes logs diligently until the expression "one should stop ..." stops him. His protocol now lacks who does what and when. Perhaps this statement is only a declaration of intent.

The second half begins

The agenda items are already behind schedule. The boss suggests that the coffee break should be avoided as an exception. “No problem” echoes from the group.

The HR manager points out that one could perhaps plan a full-day session to break down the mountain of unfinished business. "Good idea" is the echo, the boss says: "We should tackle that". Hannes writes down and thinks “declaration of intent or goal?”

Memoranda of Understanding

In brisk staccato, the members of the executive board got involved in the business. Hannes watches as some officially write on the tablet. When he returns to his office he becomes eMails received by his colleagues from the management who wrote them in the morning. That can be done well camouflaged.

Mark the nerd, but eMails write. Hannes catches the thought “declaration of intent” a few more times. He makes a sport of it, counting phrases like “one should” or “one should” in a personal statistic. 7 times 'you should' and 1 time 'you should'. Oh… after all “7: 1 ″… .was that a soccer World Cup summer in Brazil…

After four hours of busy sitting, the boss comes to the end. "I hope that injury time has not harmed you". Always the same saying, but since the footballers' World Cup title it has at least received a positive aftertaste. It is 12.30:XNUMX p.m. and the boss says goodbye with the usual departure: “I would like to thank you very much”. It would have been the last letter of intent that morning….


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English version: ISBN 9783965960374 (Translation notice)

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  1. Competencepartner

    Management satire Hannes manages - 9/10: Writing minutes by Stefan Häseli: Monday morning, 08:… - Highly recommended 3jfrz50bsQ # Profession # Education

  2. REGIS GMBH

    Leadership Satire Hannes Manages - 9 / 10: Write protocol by Stefan Häseli via BERUFEBILDER - Highly recommended LKIdBBLxHZ

  3. Thomas Eggert

    Leadership Satire Hannes Manages - 9 / 10: Write protocol by Stefan Häseli via BERUFEBILDER - Highly recommended HWOdNUwxtk

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