From the author:
"Girls can't do that as well as boys!"
Already during sandcastle building, our little ones lay their foundations for the future togetherness. Totally unconscious and unreflected. It is faster than a false stone set as we suspect.
For example, this provocative saying: "Girls can't do that as well as boys!" - and now?
Convince from the opposite
A male four-year-old throat crows in the blue sky. Legs apart, dirty, smeared with thread, torn trousers, sweat-spliced hair. Wielding the sand scoop.
I ask: "Are you really sure about that?" Prompt: "Yes, because girls are not as smart as boys !!!" I again: “And if you are wrong? Recently your friend Steffi has ... and you were so excited. ” My son: “Um… Steffi is sooo smart! Steffi is really great! ” I: "Then Steffi can build it that way, right?" My son: “Yes, Steffi can do it really well. She can do that much better than me. Look, she did so and so and so and… ”
Hach, I love it! If only it would be so easy with adults.
Separatists: headstone laid on a sandy foundation.
Our little ones are designated “seperatists” in their sandpit age and live their gender as a matter of course. Feel more attracted to their peers than to the opposite sex. This is not only completely normal, but extremely important for the powerful definition of one's own gender.
But we know that children also adapt the gender stereotypes of their close social environment. Here it becomes critical when our totally unimaginably absorbing young adult and future responsible and decision makers can impulsively grapschen so into the medieval box of gender assessment.
Where do the stereotypes come from?
Where did they get that from? The - way too! - it will hardly be sparse male educators. Maybe the fellow students of the sand castles up to unicorn Filly? Because without reflection they store all behavior in their small, high-performance brains and articulate them from parents, relatives, neighbors and other “adults”.
What they save there, they give just as unreflective again. Yes, much more, they act as real water heater and shout the slogans with fervor. Children are still full of pure physical experience. What they experience literally goes into flesh and blood. They are what they experience. Right now, without any future projection. They can not do that yet.
What memorizes early, sits deep
What brings the Thea-Laelia and the Julius-Leopold from their everyday and family world in the crucible sandbox, is taken from all Buddel colleagues as face value and stored. Then, when the four-year-old crows these slogans and there is no one to let him put his testimony to the test, drowned traditional Gedöns new castles dig into the fresh brain.
Because until the little ones outgrow the sandcastles and have been taken by the unicorns Filly of this world, many years go by with many formative repetitions of the everyday experience and hearing. This digs deep into the gray cells and connects the synapses to powerful strands of unreflective habits.
The logical evil: two worlds collide
At some point, this experiential knowledge bounces off the reality of a corporate world that tries by all means to turn these blocking ways of thinking into prosperous togetherness.
And it hits so deep in the unconscious buried, that it is not obvious what all there are to reservations and valuations. It shows itself only too clearly at the smallest expressions and emotions - unconsciously.
Bringing this behavior, which is stored in the subconscious, to consciousness and thus developing expanded skills, is the task of today - by everyone. "Uff!" It escapes us with this thought and I reflexively long for conversations on the sandpit with four-year-olds.
It is not easy, but easy in itself. For what is behind the experiences our four-year-olds are doing? Most are fears that break the track. Stoked out of the competition of parental jobs.
What can you do?
As one of my customers from the craft industry reports with pain and amazement: “Strange, especially the younger colleagues have special reservations about women. The old people are much more relaxed there. ”
- Just ask. Yes, ask your colleagues what they are so sure about.
- Take the people around you the fear of the opposite sex. The best and fastest way is to solve tasks that they can only solve together. No matter if sand castles or complex projects.
Get targeted offspring in today with targeted questions
And if you already want to work on the seed for our all-morning, do not let small men and women sit alone and on long-outdated knowledge. Bring our offspring into today and thus into the future:
- Ask: Are you sure? Where do you want to get that from? What if you were wrong?
- Take girls and boys by the hand and show you how relaxed living together works. Take for granted what you want for your own life. Do not wait for others to do it for you.
See you soon at the sandbox.
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