The curse of prosperity?
Perhaps it is a "curse" of our affluent society: we often talk about what separates us. Regardless of whether the area of responsibility, the department, goals, budget, income, language or the style of work - we use all of this and much more to differentiate ourselves and assert ourselves.
But that's not all: our concentrated (tunnel) view, which occurs at the latest when we are under stress. And this is regularly the case with 2/3 of people in professional life today. We then only concentrate on our “survival”. "Survive" by asserting ourselves and putting the interests of others behind. Or “survival” by submitting and at the same time putting our own interests behind.
Update 1: Connectedness
In order to use our ability to cooperate, we must and must ask ourselves completely different questions: the feeling of attachment to working life, to common goals. It often works quite well with colleagues, employees or supervisors. But how about the colleagues of another department, another location, Lands or even the competitors?
For the mental update “connectedness” we are looking for what connects us with others and not for what separates or differentiates us. The finding of the search: ALWAYS there is one thing in common. Because ultimately we are all in the same boat.
The search for similarities makes successive negotiations cooperatively more successful. This finding is also confirmed by a study among MBA students. Some groups were asked to go to medias res without delay and to enter directly into the negotiations.
Only round 55% came to an agreement. Other groups were initially asked to exchange personal information. The search for similarities before the start of negotiation led to a consensus rate of about 90%.
Update 2: Co-concentration
Concentrated action and thinking is reflected in EITHER OR. Win OR lose. Even a compromise falls into this category. Because everyone wins a little and everyone loses a little. The co-centered attitude lives from the BOTH AS ALSO. Achieve goals together.
Both the self and the group at the same time keep in mind: This is a co-centered view. In order for us as well as for our new co-existence, we have to deal with the opposite as well as with ourselves. It is necessary to recognize our own motives and those of the other. Co-centered thinking is the foundation of the WIN-WIN strategy. It helps to resolve conflicts successfully and permanently.
The mental update “Concentration” expires when we stop fighting or submit. By asking ourselves "What do I want?" and “What does the other want?”, to then look for a solution that makes both possible.
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