Resilience factors and success: Achieving goals with impulse control


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Text comes from: Resilienz: Die unentdeckte Fähigkeit der wirklich Erfolgreichen (2013) from Dr. Denis Mourlane, published by BusinessVillage Verlag, Reprints by friendly permission of the publisher.
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impulse control is an important aspect when it comes to achieving goals. But that is exactly what many people have a problem with. What do successful people do better?

impulse control

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Dr. Denis Mourlane 98Dr. Denis Mourlane is a psychotherapist and one of Europe's leading experts in economic resilience.

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Impulses are not always goal-oriented

You may remember the final of the World Cup, France versus Italy, in Berlin, it was a while ago. Zinédine Zidane is insulted in the worst possible way by his opponent Materazzi, goes back to him and gives him a brutal headbutt in the chest.

In this situation he had neither his emotions nor his impulses under control. And what do we learn from this?

Always keep an eye on the target

It is important to note here that this behavior has clearly distracted him from his goal, that is from his success: winning the World Cup in the context of the last game of his career.

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Perhaps you are one of the people who say: “Done right! Finally someone who doesn't put up with anything ”, and maybe this attitude stems from the fact that you would actually like to do something like this yourself, but always have to hold back.

The problem with control loss

As for myself as a sports psychologist, I myself have asked numerous professional sportsmen what their opinion is, and I can guarantee you one thing: I have not met an athlete who has understood this gesture.

There was not one who did not say: “He would have got really into trouble in the cabin because we probably lost the game because of that. He was no longer under control. ”

A question of discipline

Highly resident people understand how to effectively control their first impulses, especially in print situations. This is not only important in situations of strong emotions, but also in our everyday life.

Therefore impulse control is not to be equated with emotion control, as one might assume at this point. Impulse control can also be translated accordingly using the very well known and less popular word discipline.

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Resilience means keeping focus

For highly resilient people are in an excellent position to work concentrated and careful on a task and not to be permanently distracted from other tasks, ideas or people.

In addition, they consistently pursue their goals, bring things to an end and, in turn, gain a positive feeling, such as contentment or pride, of completing something.

Get things fixed - thanks to impulse control

Do you know this situation in which you want to close your e-mail program just before the end of the day and see that there are still three e-mails that you can not remember? Or that you are frustrated at the end of the day because you feel you have not achieved or completed anything?

This is precisely why impulse control is of paramount importance in our work environment. In particular, when we pursue tasks that are not so much fun to us, and these are part of a professional life, it is now extremely easy to follow their first impulse.

The possibilities to be distracted have never been so great

First read the email that just came in, the phone rings, I'll answer it quickly, the colleague takes a coffee break and invites you to come along, not at fac for a long timeebook or checked it out on XING. The chances of getting distracted have never been so great.

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Yes, our world has become more networked and therefore more complex, and many researchers claim that it is exactly what makes us sick and leads to burn-out.

Burnout prevention through impulse control

I claim that it is not the complexity that makes us sick, but the way we treat it. Professor Fredmund Malik, one of the leading management thought leaders of our time, presents the following provocative, but also very relevant thesis in his book “Leading, Achieving, Living” on page 325:

“Almost all of the often discussed side effects of intensive work and pressure to perform, such as stress, agitation and hectic pace, damage to health and many family quarrels, I believe, can be traced back to deficiencies in the way of working. It is not easy to get sick of a lot of hard work. You get tired of it. You get inefficient, sense- and unsuccessful work. ”

Be more aware of complexity

So in our modern lifeworld, we have to learn to deal with all the complexity more consciously and maybe even give up the grip on the BlackBerry or the iPhone in order to really complete a task.

Highly resilient people do not have to learn this anymore because they already have that ability in them and draw a great sense of satisfaction from it.

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  3. Denis Mourlane

    Hello Simone and Jörg,

    the Zidane example is a very special one because it always leads to very controversial discussions. Also in our trainings. Yes, it was the only possible reaction for him at the time. It wasn't his first red card because of assault. You can actually get a grip on such “freaks” quite well. But only if you also believe that it is possible, you really want it, that is, it arises from your own deep conviction. A nice question to ask yourself here: "What do I expect from a change?"

    Have a good New Year!

    Denis

    • Simone Janson

      Thanks for the note, it is worth it to think about it. Exciting discussion. Also a happy new year.

  4. Jörg Plath

    Or Gabriele? Oh, I don't know ...!

    • Simone Janson

      Thank you. We stay with Simone, I think ;-)

  5. Jörg Plath

    So then Uschi, Merry Christmas!

  6. Jörg Plath

    Sorry, not Monika, but Simone!

    • Simone Janson

      Thank you. Some people also call me Sabine, sometimes ;-)

  7. Jörg Plath

    Hello Monika and thank you for your answer! Unfortunately, I'm such a little Zidane too. I just recently lost control again (a few weeks ago) and now I am supposedly suffering from the consequences ... Probably because there was only one possible reaction for me and that meant ending a bad relationship. But that is currently still associated with a lot of pain. I want to work on my impulse control so I don't freak out so quickly. Kind regards from Rostock!

  8. Jörg Plath

    And yet it was the right and only possible reaction for Zidane.

    • Simone Janson

      Hi Joerg,
      Personally, I found Zidane's reaction to be human and understandable - albeit rationally stupid.

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