The power of sympathy and empathy: Similarity creates closeness

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Text comes from: Sag doch JA!: Wie Sie Menschen überzeugen und gewinnen (2015) by Reiner Neumann, published by BusinessVillage Verlag, Reprints by friendly permission of the publisher.
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We find people who are similar to us more likeable. And likeable people can convince us better. A simple truth - what does brain research say?

internet love

Here writes for you:


Reiner Neumann pure-neumannReiner Neumann is a certified psychologist, trainer, coach and author.


From the author:




The perfect match?

The net is full of great people who are looking for other equally attractive successful like-minded people who want to find the perfect partner for life. Like it is a little astonishing that these fantastic singles have not yet found their dream-men with all their advantages.

But what is not, can still become. Online partner promotions like "Parship", "Friendscout24" or "" help in juicy monthly fees. They promise to find exactly the right partner.

How is the search for the like in the net?

Customers fill in a questionnaire first. Parship uses one with 74 questions and more than 400 answer alternatives. This questionnaire is a result of research by Professor Hugo Schmale, emeritus Professor of psychology from Hamburg and author of a series of tests.

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The answers to the questions describe suspected customer personality traits, behaviors and more. Parship wants to bring together those people who are as similar as possible.

The more matching points, the better

With Parship there are many Matching Points for many matches. People with many matching points have to find the others simply because identical profiles are the basis for sympathy and proximity. So far the logic of the partner exchanges on the Internet.

Here, the desired success> love <is unambiguously equated with sufficiently much harmony and proximity. Whether love in the sense of passion actually ceases, remains to be seen. But one thing psychology has been able to determine validly in investigations: Similar people seem to us to be attractive and attractive.

People have a strong need for similarity

Furthermore, the popularity of online dating is impressive evidence that people seem to have a strong need to build relationships and be close. We can use both phenomena wonderfully for our persuasion bag. Therefore, it is always about understanding why we react the way we do when we meet similar people.

Many brain researchers and psychologists are therefore from the discovery of the Spiegelneurons fascinated. Spiegelneurons are nerve cells that become active when we want to perform certain movements. But the same cells are also active when we see other people performing this movement.

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The secret of empathy

If someone smells a food and disgusts his face with disgust, the thing is clear to us: The food stinks and will probably taste disgusting. For this we need not to perceive the smell ourselves.

This Spiegelneurons fire when we perform an action ourselves, but also when we observe others doing something.

Are these nerve cells then possibly the key to learning to imitate, to acquiring social skills and perhaps also to empathy? After all, it is known that children with autism have significantly less Spiegelcells are more than average equipped in humans. It has also been found that our Spiegelneurons also fire when a third party sees a disgusting object and grimaces in disgust without us even being able to see the disgusting object.

What makes man human?

"The Spiegelneurons in the brain are special nerve cells that make people a compassionate being. [...] ours SpiegelNeurons not only react when we experience suffering, pain or joy ourselves, but these nerve cells also become active when we perceive these sensations in someone else. […] The system of SpiegelNeuronen has thus played an important role in the evolution of humans and in the development of cultures. " Excellent! Sabine Kaufmann knows. At last the riddle has been solved as to what exactly makes humans human. We finally know that people are made up of empathy and cooperation.

As always in such cases, rest is first civic duty. Not infrequently journalists are quick with a contribution at hand - even by the science understood only in the approach topics are handled handy and interpreted flaky. Consultants, authors and even scientists participate - they quickly formulate patent recipes and offer them in a book with a suitable title.

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Between desire and science

This is exactly where the dividing line between desire and science runs. The existence of the Spiegelneurons also in humans, their functioning in (mostly laboratory) situations with tasks such as the imitation of often only individual movements or correct interpretation of the emotions of other people in precisely defined situations is also proven.

The question of whether the Spiegelneurons are actually the cause of imitation and maybe even empathy or whether the development of our activity Spiegelneurons is the result of imitating learning. In any case, it has been proven that the ability of these nerve cells to Spiegelung is the result of a learning process.

Spiegelreverse polarity of neurons

It can thus be shown that it is possible to reverse the polarity of these neurons: If certain SpiegelIf neurons fire when an index finger is moved, it can be achieved through practice that the same cells are no longer active when the index finger is moved, but when the little finger is moved.

Our ability to imitate the movements of certain body parts is also localized in different areas of the brain. The previously proven system of Spiegelneurons, however, are only found in a precisely defined brain area. And it is precisely this brain area that is also active in the aforementioned autistic children when they try to imitate the movement of other people.

In summary, we currently only know that this system is the Spiegelneurons and that it plays a role in imitating movements and in understanding other people's behavior. It remains exciting.

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  1. Kompetenz.Persönlich.Gestalten.

    Being nice, creates similarity. This is known, as the article also describes. The principle also applies to successful sales / sales. For this is primarily an interpersonal process.
    If you are able to build up a personal relationship with the customer in a short time, he or she will have an ear for your request, your product or service.

    • Simone Janson

      Thank you for completing this important aspect!

  2. DP_London_Love

    #Partnersuche - The perfect #matching
    - Exciting contributiong2viF1iQoc
    More about #Parship
    - Exciting contributioniA8TVxVJ1n

  3. Competencepartner

    Sympathy & closeness as a means of persuasion - Part 1: Be careful !: People who are similar to us ... - Exciting contributionqOKYhOMO7c #Creation #Education

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