The power of sympathy and empathy: Similarity creates closeness

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Text comes from: Sag doch JA!: Wie Sie Menschen überzeugen und gewinnen (2015) of Reiner Neumann, published by BusinessVillage Verlag, Reprints by friendly permission of the publisher.
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We find people who are similar to us more likeable. And likeable people can convince us better. A simple truth - what does brain research say?

internet love

Here writes for you:


Reiner Neumann pure-neumannReiner Neumann is a certified psychologist, trainer, coach and author.


From the author:




The perfect match?

The net is full of great people who are looking for other equally attractive successful like-minded people who want to find the perfect partner for life. Like it is a little astonishing that these fantastic singles have not yet found their dream-men with all their advantages.

But what is not, can still become. Online partner promotions like "Parship", "Friendscout24" or "" help in juicy monthly fees. They promise to find exactly the right partner.

How is the search for the like in the net?

Customers fill in a questionnaire first. Parship uses one with 74 questions and more than 400 answer alternatives. This questionnaire is a result of research by Professor Hugo Schmale, emeritus Professor of psychology from Hamburg and author of a series of tests.

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The answers to the questions describe suspected customer personality traits, behaviors and more. Parship wants to bring together those people who are as similar as possible.

The more matching points, the better

With Parship there are many Matching Points for many matches. People with many matching points have to find the others simply because identical profiles are the basis for sympathy and proximity. So far the logic of the partner exchanges on the Internet.

Here, the desired success> love <is unambiguously equated with sufficiently much harmony and proximity. Whether love in the sense of passion actually ceases, remains to be seen. But one thing psychology has been able to determine validly in investigations: Similar people seem to us to be attractive and attractive.

People have a strong need for similarity

Furthermore, the popularity of online dating is impressive evidence that people seem to have a strong need to build relationships and be close. We can use both phenomena wonderfully for our persuasion bag. Therefore, it is always about understanding why we react the way we do when we meet similar people.

Many brain researchers and psychologists are therefore fascinated by the discovery of mirror neurons. Mirror neurons are nerve cells that become active when we want to perform certain movements. The same cells are also active when we see how other people carry out this movement.

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The secret of empathy

If someone smells a food and disgusts his face with disgust, the thing is clear to us: The food stinks and will probably taste disgusting. For this we need not to perceive the smell ourselves.

These mirror neurons fire when we perform an action ourselves, but also when we observe others in an action.

Are these nerve cells possibly the key to imitation learning, to the acquisition of social competences and perhaps also to empathy? After all, it is known that children with autism have much less mirror cells than average people. Also, it has been found that our mirror neurons also fire when thirds see a disgusting object and distort the face, disguised, without seeing the disgusting object at all.

What makes man human?

“The mirror neurons in the brain are special nerve cells that make people a compassionate being. [...] our mirror neurons not only react when we experience suffering, pain or joy, but these nerve cells also become active when we perceive these sensations in someone else. […] The mirror neuron system has played an important role in human evolution and in the development of cultures. ” Excellent! Sabine Kaufmann knows. The riddle of what exactly makes humans human is finally solved. We finally know that people consist of empathy and cooperation.

As always in such cases, rest is first civic duty. Not infrequently journalists are quick with a contribution at hand - even by the science understood only in the approach topics are handled handy and interpreted flaky. Consultants, authors and even scientists participate - they quickly formulate patent recipes and offer them in a book with a suitable title.

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Between desire and science

This is precisely where the dividing line between desire and science runs. The existence of the mirror neurons is also demonstrated in humans, as is their functioning in (mostly laboratory) situations with tasks such as the imitation of often only individual movements or correct interpretation of the emotions of other people in precisely defined situations.

The question is whether the mirror neurons are actually the cause of imitation and perhaps even empathy or whether the development of the activity of our mirror neurons is the result of imitating learning. In any case, it is demonstrated that the ability of these nerve cells to reflect is the result of a learning process.

Replace the mirror neurons

Thus it can be shown that it is possible to repel these neurons: If certain mirror neurons firing at the movement of a pointer finger, one can achieve by practice that these cells no longer become active during the movement of the index finger, but during the movement of the small finger ,

Also, our ability to imitate movements of certain parts of the body is localized in different brain regions. However, the system of mirror neurons that has been proven so far is found exclusively in a precisely defined brain area. And this brain area is also active in the autistic children mentioned above, when they try to imitate the movement of other people.

In summary, we currently only know that there is this system of mirror neurons and that it plays a role in the imitation of movements and the understanding of the directly perceptible behavior of other people. It remains exciting.

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  1. Kompetenz.Persönlich.Gestalten.

    Being nice, creates similarity. This is known, as the article also describes. The principle also applies to successful sales / sales. For this is primarily an interpersonal process.
    If you are able to build up a personal relationship with the customer in a short time, he or she will have an ear for your request, your product or service.

    • Simone Janson

      Thank you for completing this important aspect!

  2. DP_London_Love

    #Partnersuche - The perfect #matching
    - Exciting contributiong2viF1iQoc
    More about #Parship
    - Exciting contributioniA8TVxVJ1n

  3. Competencepartner

    Sympathy & closeness as a means of persuasion - Part 1: Be careful !: People who are similar to us ... - Exciting contributionqOKYhOMO7c #Creation #Education

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