Become successful and personable: closeness has a magical effect

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Text comes from: Sag doch JA!: Wie Sie Menschen überzeugen und gewinnen (2015) by Reiner Neumann, published by BusinessVillage Verlag, Reprints by friendly permission of the publisher.
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People who touch us emotionally can reinforce existing or positive emotions through our behavior or even evoke them. You can use that for yourself!

magic emotions

Here writes for you:

Reiner Neumann pure-neumannReiner Neumann is a certified psychologist, trainer, coach and author.


From the author:

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Best of HR Berufebilder


Best of HR Berufebilder


How do successful sellers proceed?

So if you manage to create closeness and emotional connection to your counterpart, it will be easier for you to convince them of your project. This is one of the reasons why sellers try to make it as pleasant as possible for the customer.

Car dealerships are designed according to the specifications of the manufacturers to create the ambience that appropriately interprets the brand essence. The seller is also trained to create closeness to the customer through appropriate behavior and thereby generate conviction.

How to use closeness for success

The successful seller talks to the customer about music and his holiday plans. He ensures that the customer feels as a guest in the car house, coffee and leather sofas support this impression. The seller builds sympathy to the customer, similarity is a crucial factor - same clothes, likes for sports or holiday destinations and more. So the emotional sales trap is set up perfectly.

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The Council of equals or at least the same dressed is regarded as more important and valuable. All this is the basis for the following purchase recommendation, which is then felt rather as advice of a friend than as aggressive acquisition.

The same environment creates proximity

I am particularly close to people who belong to my closer environment, to my network. Belonging to the same circles, to the same caste creates closeness. After all, good relationships only harm those who don't have them. You know each other, like each other and help yourself. Rotary or Lions describe themselves as service clubs, socially committed, worldwide networks.

Nevertheless, they rely on closeness and relationships, even former consultants or university graduates trust the common background and the connection to the previous environment. Professional success requires networks: it helps to know the right people.

Equal values ​​and background create trust

We want to trust the people around us. The same values, a similar background, comparable experiences make for more trust. The explanatory factor is closeness. If something connects us with other people, we support them and give them our trust. Similarity has a special effect.

Employees who have similarities with their managers in individual characteristics - or have learned to develop them over time - are more likely to expect sympathy and acceptance than colleagues who are not ascertained this.

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Rise with networking

Connect to your network, node by node. Identify the relevant contacts and maintain them intensively. Good networks are cleverly selected and maintained. In networks you have to invest, through communication, because the others can also benefit from you.

If you want to make a really steep career, marry the owner. Then you inherit the publisher or the corporation. This has often led to success in Germany. Or you do it like Rebecca Brooks: She started as a secretary to the news and eleven years later she was editor-in-chief.

Nearness seems magical

The mirror shows how she did it: “Brooks learned tennis when her manager played tennis and learned to play golf when she got another manager with different preferences. And then she got her sailing license, although none of her direct bosses sailed. But the Murdochs sailed, and the breakthrough into the tycoon family created the first foundation for their position today. ” People like people who have something in common with them. The closeness looks magical.

Also physical proximity creates sympathy. If we have more contact, we find the other more sympathetic. Members of a group discover more similarities in their environment and see more differences with others.

People in the drawer

Equal and equal gladly joined - says the vernacular is right. And he is right. In fact, we find other people particularly exciting when they resemble us. People prefer the proximity of other people when they are as similar as possible.

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With that has Professor Narrow right. We meet people and immediately form categories regarding gender, age, or perceived wealth. These social categories are basically a very rough grid and are based primarily on visible characteristics.

Group membership = similarity

Once we have formed the appropriate groups, we attribute to the defined members of a group a greater degree of similarity than to perceive differences between them.

This is probably one of the reasons why so many books so vehemently emphasize the difference between men and women. Gender is one of the most recognizable features.

Placebo similarity is enough!

Likewise, we systematically exaggerate the difference between people from our group and others. For this reason similar or related people are often more sympathetic to us than strangers.

It even seems sufficient if we suspect this similarity to others. OkCupid is a big American brokerage. Again, the seeking singles partner suggestions are made on the basis of matching points.

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It depends on the perceived similarity

Christian Rudder, one of the co-founders of OkCupid, has systematically manipulated these numbers in an attempt. With a match of thirty percent the result was increased to sixty or ninety. Actually, these two people should match little.

The astonishing result: allegedly ninety percent agreement, the partnered users remained in contact for twice as long as the correct thirty percent. The perceived similarity seems to play at least as much a role as the actual one. Has master Professor Narrow with its complex algorithm because maybe just too much work done?

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