From the author:
Step by Step
It is better to change only one belief set than all at once. One of the most common mistakes when changing patterns of thinking is that you try to change everything at once. Here it is necessary to apply the salami tactics, that is to say disc by disc.
To clarify how the method works, I explain this by a sample sentence. I use one of the most common dogmas in our society:
"I am only loved when I perform."
Doubt the doctrine of faith
Make it clear now that your existing pattern of thought does not correspond to the truth. For what is true in this world? Is not our perception anyway subjective?
The one judges one thing in this way, and another in another way. So your belief is subjective as well! Now write down at least three reasons why your beliefs are wrong. Why is not what you think?
For our sample set this means
My brother is loved, though he does not perform as well as me. I love my parents, even if they do not perform.
Although I have already made mistakes and did not perform well, I am loved by my partner.
Visualize in writing
Write down how your beliefs should be positive. And formulate exactly so that you can also internalize the change.
How do you think this beliefs should sound, so that you feel better, perceive yourself as more valuable, and in the future, reach your personal goals more easily? Visualize this belief in writing.
Write down again three reasons why this new belief might be true. What experiences have you had in the past, which could confirm this affirmation?
New formulation and the four confirmations:
- I am loved, just as I am.
- If I was no longer in the world, some people would be very sad.
- My partner likes to spend time with me. Just because.
- I can forgive other miscompensation and forgive me mine as well.
In the fourth step you shape your subconscious mind with your new way of thinking through a kind of mental training. You do this until it has become a new pattern of faith and works without waking consciousness.
Consciously use the new beliefs to affirm and shape your subconscious mind.
How did your previous belief come about?
For example, you say yourself audible seven times a day in a specific and, if possible, always the same situation (for example, when driving to work in the car) before you report to Chef go) your new belief.
Now ask yourself why you have developed your old beliefs at all. What experiences or messages have led to this?
Where did the faiths come from?
Does it have anything to do with the education of your parents? If the sentence comes from school, because teachers or classmates have always reflected this belief. Or does this set come from past partnerships?
Again, there are three reasons to note why a certain person (or even several people) was wrong in having you think that way.
- Why can not this person actually judge how you are in truth?
- Perhaps because no one knows you as well as you know yourself?
- Why should this person be able to assess what you can achieve in life and what is not?
Reasons for the old belief:
- I am only loved when I bring performance.
- I have a perfectionist mother and no one can do it right.
- Perfection stands for value.
- Resting was always designed for me as lazy, and I also needed breaks.
If a particular person has shared in your limiting beliefs and your bad self-confidence, then it is important that you forgive this person.
Let go. The past is no longer changeable and if you accept your development so far, you can accept and change yourself.
Forgive this person (or individuals) for having negatively influenced your thought patterns. Close a written reconciliation contract.
Wording help: "I make peace with ..."
Act on your new belief
Prove your own self, and thus your subconscious mind, simply the opposite, acting as if you were quite different. - According to our example feel valuable, even without performance.
This is the best way to create counter-arguments to your old beliefs and thus provide proof of your new beliefs through your daily actions.
Think about what you can do to show yourself that your negative belief does not really apply to you.
The Success Storybook
Take your time every evening and write down in a book what went well on this day. Where have you been successful? In the beginning, note the successes in changing your negative belief.
With the onion principle described here, most people get along well. It is clearly structured and does not require any professional guidance in the form of a coach or therapist. It only requires a certain discipline.
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