From the author:
Beliefs from his childhood
In his childhood, Robert K. was a bright and curious boy, who approached people without difficulty and addressed them in his naive, childlike manner. Every time he was with his parents, it did not take long and he went out and spoke to wildly alien people in his environment.
His parents were initially amused, but after a while they began banning Robert from approaching others. They then said, "You do not do that. You disturb the people. Let people alone, they do not want that. "Robert complied and soon stopped talking to other people, and he got the recognition of his parents.
When Robert K. in his mid-thirties decided to start his own business, he came to my practice as part of a business start-up coaching to learn how to acquire new customers. Robert K. quickly understood on the cognitive level how acquisition worked, but he did not manage to pick up the phone and call out-of-the-box people, to be, his product, and his Company imagine.
Only in the subsequent sessions of the coaching he realized that he was due to a belief - in this case, "You disturb the other people" was not able to start his phone call. We changed that belief, and after a short while, Robert was able to appear free and successfully promote himself and his company.
How beliefs influence our lives
This little anecdote shows how strong beliefs are, where they come from and how they influence our lives. Faiths are not fundamentally bad, because they also ensure that we live according to certain ethical principles and are not just selfish. In many cases, however, they stand in our way.
Our dogmas, the truths of which we are firmly convinced, characterize us, our thoughts, feelings and actions. Often we overlook only one thing: if we believe something, that is only a possible view of things and not the whole truth.
Hold for security
But why do we train our beliefs at all? Beliefs and beliefs give us support and a sense of security.
Such beliefs are for many of us like a railing, where we can hike along and protect us from disappointments. In addition, they are important for our survival, as they help us to quickly and safely arrange and respond to information.
Our convictions cause us pain
In doing so, they give our lives stability, security, protection and continuity. For example, we do not have to think about whether we should give the attractive colleague a pat on the buttocks - just like that. Or tell the boss the opinion, because he again proposes things that are not feasible in practice.
In fact, these beliefs can contribute a great deal to the pain and disappointment of our lives, as we are often attracted by our expectations, which are confirmed by our beliefs.
The self-fulfilling prophecy
Maybe you know that from yourself or from other people, that they / we often wear exactly what we / we are convinced of:
That's when the woman who is convinced that no man will ever take her seriously will only ever get to know those men who treat her badly and do not mean it seriously. One possible belief could be, "I'm not adorable."
Negative thoughts always confirmed
Since the clerk is never offered a salary increase because she never demands one. Here, the belief might read, "I'm not valuable."
That's when the employee who has always said that it will be the first to hit him when jobs are cut is quit. The belief that is confirmed here could be: "I'm not important."
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