The motives behind the plot
The main question in this context is: Do we know the motives from which someone is acting? When we see the words that come to us alone, we often come to very wrong conclusions and thus reactions.
The situation looks different when we have an understanding of the whole and are able to take into account what motivates others. We see his speech, the tone and the emotional expression of his speech now in a new light, in a larger frame.
Help, a choleric?
What is at issue here is particularly evident in situations where someone reacts to a small incidental remark.
Especially if the emotional life is already in turmoil, the famous last drop is enough to make the barrel overflow. As the Volksmund so aptly said, someone has intentionally or unintentionally hit a so-called sore spot.
Why does someone react quickly?
What's behind it? Why is someone reacting? There are several reasons for this:
- Perhaps he is a loud, choleric person.
- He may also have stress, such as success or the like, in his professional environment.
- Perhaps in his entire life he felt at the moment in a difficult disorganized phase.
An example from management
All this could have caused someone to behave like this. I would like to point this out to a coaching example of a manager:
Regarding these responses, we came across relatively quickly with this client, that his violent reaction must be related to something that is within him, activated by the action of the employee and triggering violent emotional reactions.
Understanding of one's own feelings = understanding of others
This in him, said the manager, is the old fear of disputes and conflicts of a three-year-old. And now comes the surprising:
After understanding for his own reaction, he was no longer trapped in it.
The realization: He does not mean me
He could now see that this employee did not mean him with his actions. He was now open to the information that this employee was acting like this to others.
My client had found a new position by understanding himself and the other's way of acting and was now able to deal with this employee relatively relaxed.
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