Help, an egomaniac!
Do you know that too? During negotiations, she confronts her interlocutor with technical terms and abbreviations that you neither further nor interest and that you can only understand as an insider.
Your negotiator has a clear one Concept of right and wrong in the head, which he wants to impose on you. In all these situations, there is no trace of alterocentricity.
Who am I dealing with?
The core question with any successful communication is usually: What do I want to tell the other? This question should not be asked! Rather, with whom do I deal with?
Whether in the interview with the personnel, as a salesperson in the car showroom with the customer, as a management with my employees, as a doctor in dealing with my patients, always the most successful is the questions
- Do I formulate and argue objectively correctly and addressee-fair?
- Does what I say or write come as I would like or would like to?
can answer with a clear "yes".
Communication arises at the receiver
Communication finally arises at the receiver. "I do not hear what you say, but what I can or want to hear," says an old motto. Therefore, pay more attention to the person you are talking to or want to convince, rather than yourself.
This is precisely what is meant by "alterocentration", namely to put oneself and one's own value judgments behind and to concentrate completely on one's partner and the thing.
The top 4 of Alterozentrierung
And such conversation partners are very popular with others. So that does not happen to you, here are the top 4 of Alterozentrierung:
1. Not always "ME; I; I"
Those who are not Alterozentriert wants to be in the foreground: I; I; I. It's all about:
- How can I enforce my own interests?
- How can I convince my counterpart of my own ideas?
- How can I get the most out of a situation?
The I-Sager thinks and acts without regard for OTHERS. Only his advantage and his opinion count. Anyone who thinks and acts in an age-centered way does the opposite: it also allows the benefits and opinions of others.
2. Not: "I have something else to do than others"
"Even guilt," he says to her as she complains again about his unwillingness to help in the household, "because of all this you would not have had to do it all. And by the way: I do not give a damn here. "
Some people give themselves more liberties than he wants others to stand, feels deeply in the right and has no place for the opinions and perspectives of others. Anyone who thinks and acts in an age-centered way does not.
3. Not "Where I am is upstairs"
How do I see others? This is the question that an aged man is posing. All the others do not do this, after all, it is about putting themselves at the top (optionally in the center).
That others have a different perspective, different skills, different desires and needs - uninteresting and negligible. The main thing: recognition in the special role. People often believe that they get over exaggerations. Please do not!
4. A little ego is for everyone
But with all Alterozentrierung applies: Every person should be careful not to come too short. A certain amount of selfishness belongs to everyone and is also necessary in order to assert one's own interests.
A healthy egoism is characterized by the fact that one can assert oneself on the one hand, but at the same time also knows its limits and allows one's fellow man the freedom to develop oneself.
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