Survival-Skill Ask questions!
Small talk is often dismissed as a "mindless pastime". That's right - if done wrong. If you do it right, you have to be on the right track.
He must mentally follow his counterpart and keep asking comprehension questions - which the other enthusiastically answers (if not exaggerated).
Opportunities for questions arise constantly
Everything a human being says is sub-redundant. Opportunities for questions abound in every single sentence. "I want to afford a new car this year ..." Why this year? What kind of a new car? What was the old one? Why a new one? How was he / she satisfied with the old one? What should a new one bring?
We were able to ask intelligent, interesting questions at the age of five. But in the meantime, the educational system has given us a great deal of this useful capacity. We need to recapture this Survival skill again. Opportunities for this can be found daily in the dozen: also and especially with your children, relatives, the relationship partner.
People will be amazed
Man, they will be surprised! So much attention you suddenly give them. "It was stupid at school today!" Why? Why? What happened? Please tell me everything exactly! Michael insulted you? Who is that again? Ah, is not that ...?
Okay, what did he say? How did he mean that? What went ahead? I could still ask for a minute and ask my opponent. And soon you can do that too. You practice. Practice makes master and master.
Let others shine!
And if you are a master, you can make others shine as well. Only recently, I joined a reception to a circle of friends, in which a bank director lectured with a proudly swaggered chest - about solar panels. And Peter S. stood by. What you need to know: Peter S. has one of the largest distribution and installation organizations for solar panels in the region. The bank manager just did not know that.
When the circle got lost, I took Peter aside and asked, "Did you swallow your tongue? Since when do you let a layman explain your own field of expertise? "He winked and said:" They cut the bank director all evening because of the financial crisis. I thought to myself: Let him shine for a change and do not drive him into the parade with better know-how. Besides, he's building himself. Do you think he buys his new solar system from a know-it-all? Or at one who sovereign and calmly puts the customer first? "
Only no work
Unfortunately, these are the most common style elements in the usual amateur small talk: "We were on holiday this summer on the Black Sea!" - "And we in the cathedral. Rep.! "-" And we in the summer residence of the Pope! "Uh, er, that's disgusting. How to beat the top dogs and Salonzicken there again each other and try out!
Men, in particular, are the most likely to miss out on intersex small talk with it: No woman likes show off. Women are on conversation harmony (if they do not just bitch). "But if someone really tells a mischief!", The engineers, top managers, editors, Germanists and scientists are using it. So what? Guys, it's small talk! There is no dissertation or hearing before the Senate!
The master baker considers Keynes the center forward of Schalke? "Keynes was an economist and father of the modern market economy! Everyone knows that! "With this, you disqualify yourself and lose all sympathy. Also and especially because it is true! But that does not count in small talk.
With small talk, rapport, harmony, counts. So you say: "Oh what, the center forward of Schalke is called that way? What a coincidence! The economist's name was Keynes, right? "Do you know what? The master baker will be eternally grateful to you for not exposing him. This is small talk: make the other look good. Even and especially when you know better.
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