What a nice guy!
Everyone was excited: "What a nice guy! And really has a grasp of mathematics! "The blockbuster, you guessed it already: The nice guy had no idea about mathematics. He was an art student. He did not have the faintest idea of binomials.
For this he had a marked empathy: if his opponent swarmed over Fermat's theorem, the subject did not go to Fermat's theorem (a small-talk layman would try and be embarrassed). No, he was more concerned with the feelings of the mathematician.
Real sympathy instead of pre-recorded knowledge
When the arithmeticist resented an unsuccessful attempt to solve the theorem, the art student said, "Yes, this is frustrating, unfortunately I know it too well." When the mathematician spoke of a new approach, he said, "A new approach? That sounds pretty. What do you make of it?"
Certainly: After more than 20 minutes, it would have been clear that the boy has no idea of integrals. Then he could still have said, "That's right, I'm studying art. But I am very interested in mathematics. Is not Michelangelo's aesthetics almost mathematical in its precision? "
Empathy - and you can train it
But this is not the point. The point is: empathy allows the greatest possible recognition. For every human being, even if he is a mathematician, is a feeling-man in the deepest. Whoever can perceive and reflect these feelings is a small-talk genius.
You can also train this ability. He / she only needs very good eyes and ears and a sense of their own feelings. Needless to say, really good empathy is so frighteningly successful in small talk, negotiation, coaching, management, and everywhere in life that they could wrap any human being around - if they wanted to. Anyone who smiles disdainfully about "small talk" ignores the existence of gravity. A fatal ignorance.
Small talk - more value than mere expertise
Expertise is important. In every subject. But for the great and sustainable success in the job, for happiness and satisfaction in life expertise and wealth are not enough.
This requires communicative and social skills. Those who are good at small talk can be good with people, communicate well, and have the key to much greater inner and outer wealth than mere expertise could ever provide.
Empty in the head? That gives itself
Empty in the head? That gives itself. For example, the Golf: After a few passes of this beautiful game. With a variant for managers and other dignitaries:
Before commenting, consider whether your comment reinforces or weakens the rapport. "What do we want in Brazil?" A no-no. Because that is not a factual comment, but a polemical rating!
Find out about the background
Find out more about the background: Why does the Chef to Brazil, where are the advantages? And then it may be that your comment is so: "Brazil? Donnerwetter, everyone is now in China and India - but in Brazil? Here is our boss once again with the first! "
Well, the boss will be glad about you, if you make such a nice comment. So, practice developing your own, rapport-friendly mindset.
Small talk is so much more
Some people might come up with the idea, Small Talk consists in putting on an interested face while listening and nodding in a friendly smile.
But this text has hopefully taught you a better - that's nonsense. As we have seen, small talk is so much more.
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