Serenity in Job and Everyday Life: Out of the Conflict Trap [10 Tipps]


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Conflicts in professional and private life can be extremely stressful and cumbersome. The “lucky hand method” shows ways out of the vicious circle of stressful conflicts: how can we sovereign deal with conflicts or even avoid them and thus improve our well-being? conflict management

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Professor Dr. Martin-Niels Däfler Best of HR – Berufebilder.de®Prof. Dr. Martin-Niels Däfler teaches at the University of Economics and Management (FOM) in Frankfurt am Main.

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Conflicts and disturbed relationships burden many people - privately and at work. A vicious circle that many can hardly find out. The “Lucky Hand Method” shows you how to work, live and communicate more relaxed.

This includes, among other things, ways to more gratitude, better judgment, and a convincing communication technique for the constructive handling of conflicts. I have designed this method so that the user can easily memorize the information contained in it and apply it in everyday life. Your hand serves as a reminder: Each of your five fingers represents one of the techniques associated with this method.

10 Tips for avoiding conflicts

Before you start practicing the method, the basic condition for using this method successfully must be mentioned - as briefly as it is formulated by Mahatma Ghandi: "Be the change you want for this world."

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  1. Self-living: We should set an example for what we expect from others. Here Ghandi rephrased the age-old knowledge of mankind that we should set a good example. Change begins with ourselves. If you are not ready to take the first step, if you continue to make your behavior relentlessly dependent on “others” starting, you will not benefit from the following explanations. However, if you are willing to understand that you have to start yourself so that - with less arguments and more harmony - something can turn for the better, you have come to the right place.
  2. Apply resonance law: The mechanism of action is a simple one: if you change your behavior, and do it permanently, then your counterpart will most likely do the same. The boomerang law (also known as the “law of attraction” or “resonance law”) applies. It says that like attracts like. What you send out, practice and practice will return to you sooner or later like a boomerang. That may sound esoteric. But even stubborn doubters should be clear: there is no other way. We can only change ourselves, never anyone else.
  3. The lucky hand method: The Lucky Hand method does not require a chronological sequence of activities - the techniques can be used individually or in combination, depending on the situation. First you will learn how to show more gratitude with a simple formula. Then you will learn how to avoid a lot of trouble when you are silent. With the third technique, you will be able to better assess the proportionality of problems. The ability to ask questions is at the heart of the fourth technique - it helps to avoid conflicts. The final step is a communication technology that allows you to address critical behavior constructively.
  4. More thanks and recognition: Why do many marriages fail, why do employees complain so often about their superiors, why do children often fail to understand? For a very simple reason: Because many sufferers feel that they receive too little recognition and thanks. For example, one has been especially committed to something or someone and does not get a word of praise. No matter if from the partner, Chef, Teachers or friends: in everyday life you almost never hear a nice word. Everything is considered normal. A pat on the back, a friendly, honest “thank you”? Hard to find outside of the trained supermarket friendliness! The result: relationships cool, frustration and anger spread due to lack of appreciation.
  5. To praise: Honestly: Do you say thank you and appreciation every now and then? Are you too economical with praise yourself? The reason for this is often that we do not feel that we ourselves are sufficiently valued. Think of the saying: "As you call into the forest, it resounds." - and make yourself aware that everyone needs recognition.
  6. Please do not patronize: In line with our principle that we have to move forward if we want something to develop positively, we should in future often express honest appreciation and serious thanks. This is not a condescending “you did it well” or a patronizing “great, how fine”, but a few, but fitting, honest, unexcited words that show the other that we have perceived his performance.
  7. Be very specific! The following applies: the more specific and personal this recognition is, the better it is received by the recipient. So instead of saying "you gave a good presentation", it would be better to say "I particularly liked how authentic you came across in your presentation".
  8. Just do not overdo: Do not exaggerate it with your praise. Whoever constantly and with Lobeschymnen considers, quickly acts unbelievable. Praise or thank you only if you really mean it!
  9. Properly say thank you: Another help for “saying thank you”: As already mentioned, our statements have a much higher weight, if you put them in concrete terms. If you want to thank someone for something, don't just say “thank you very much”, but also state the reason for which you are grateful. You can easily do this if you start your sentence of thanks like this: Thank you for ... helping me peeling potatoes ... sticking to our agreement and arriving on time ... agreeing with me in the meeting with your opinion ... on your film waived and watched the crime scene with me.
  10. Always remember: As a reminder for this technique is the thumb. The thumb sticking up is - except in some Arab countries - globally a positive, affirmative gesture. Alright, well done, keep it up, great, great!

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  1. Competencepartner

    10 tips for more serenity in work & everyday life: Get out of the conflict trap by Prof. Dr. Martin-Niels Däfler - Highly recommended X1gwjW2rs9

  2. Competencepartner

    Methods for more serenity: Out of the conflict trap: Conflicts in professional and private life ... #profession #education

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