Self-management 1: The choice of words
Your own choice of words. Everybody thinks and speaks a lot in pictures and metaphors. Especially the use of metaphors, that is, examples of the matter to be clarified from another area, is a very effective tool, both in terms of the self-motivation as well as the enthusiasm of other people, which we rarely consciously use. For example, how would you complete the following sentence?
Change is ... It may be more useful to consider change as an adventure, for example, than when you consider it a necessary evil. Does it make a difference in terms of your motivation whether you call yourself (and feel) the "fifth wheel on the car" or the "engine that drives the whole thing in a carefully metered manner". For you, the phone is simply a “connection to bad people” or a “power tool for generating sales”. So, when dealing with yourself, pay careful attention to the metaphors you use. These have enormous power in terms of your own attitude. Use this influence in your favor!
Self-management 2: your body
What do you habitually do with your body? Why is that so important? Your inner condition is directly linked to me the way you move your body. Try it: Sit down as if you were depressed. They let the shoulders hang, the corners of the mouth go down and they breathe flat. If you have taken this posture, try to change happy, euphoric thoughts without changing your posture.
How good is that? At most, it takes a lot of mental effort. You can also try it the other way around. Now sit down as if you were happy. You just sit down as if you were happy. For example, you take your shoulders back, take a deep breath and, most importantly, put on a very broad grin. While you are doing this, try unhappy. That is also difficult. This connection between physiology and one's own inner state also applies to other emotion pairs such as “Motivated vs. Demotivated ”. Use this knowledge to your advantage!
Self-management 3: Productive questions
You have between your ears one of the most powerful computers in the world. In the delivery, however, the manual was forgotten. How can you control your mental focus? With questions, you can steer your brain in a specific direction at the touch of a button. Example: What in your environment, in the room you are in, has the color blue? Search for anything that has the color blue for 10 seconds.
- How many blue objects are you remembering with your eyes closed?
- How many objects, on the other hand, do you think of now that have the color red?
Mostly less because your mental focus was blue due to the question asked. So you can easily control your attention by asking questions. What does that mean transfer to important areas of life? If you ask yourself what is good or bad about something, then your brain will automatically seek to find an answer to the question. The same effect occurs with questions like: where is the chance vs. Where is the threat. What is motivating vs. What is demotivating about this? Pay attention to which questions you ask yourself habitual.
Self-management 4: Constructive or destructive?
Nobody always achieves their goals straight away. Dealing with “no” also needs to be learned. Among other things, constructive thinking includes dealing sensibly with failures. For example, by asking yourself what you can learn from this. Any form of rejection is usually uncomfortable. One thinks and acts constructively if this is not taken personally. Which opinion is more important to you? The other person's or your own opinion about yourself?
This does not mean, of course, that it does not matter what other people think. It just should not be overrated. Even comparison with other people is perfectly normal within certain healthy limits. In psychology, this is called the object reference. This means that we focus on other people and seek confirmation through them. It is more constructive and motivating, however, not to compare oneself to other people, but to oneself, to be simply the best person one can be: no more, but no less - that is very motivating. Try it!
Self-management 5: inside bastard?
Who does not know him? The inner pig dog. You have to struggle with it in relation to a certain goal. As banal as it may seem, ask yourself seriously if you really want to achieve this. Often, the sacrifices appear to be more real than the benefits of meeting them. For example, longer working hours or changing habits are necessary. Make your motives crystal clear - this reduces the inner struggle considerably and leads to more movement in your project.
But most of the time, it's not lack of discipline or even laziness, but a lack of good reasons to pursue one's goals permanently. If you look at people who have been working for a long time with a lot of perseverance at something, then it is noticeable that they all had strong motivations for their actions. Suppose you have decided to pursue a goal seriously. Then you reduce the internal struggle considerably, if you (best in writing) good reasons for this develop. You can always keep these reasons in mind when you need extra motivation. Would not this moment be a good time to start?
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German edition: ISBN 9783965962644
English version: ISBN 9783965962651 (Translation notice)
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