How to overcome obstacles?
Most people are so concerned with whining, pushing the blame on others and insulting themselves that they can not find a solution.
It is better to approach the obstacle constructively. Ask yourself:
- What does the situation require from me?
- What exactly do I need?
- Where can I get it?
- Who could I ask (except myself)?
Keep an overview! Write down all the possibilities on a list. Update and expand this list.
To tackle the hurdles in a structured way
Such a list helps to bring obstacles and solutions into a structure that enables meaningful, step-by-step action.
You can not skip a house wall! Not at all. But every brick single, that goes. So dismantle the house wall! Whenever something is difficult for you:
It is not due to your courage or your abilities! It is up to the task. It is not properly structured. Atomize them! Even the Chinese knew: Even a journey from 1000 miles begins with the first step.
Awaken your strength - make constructive thoughts
How do you awaken something in yourself? A wonderful tool for this are settings. In good English: constructive thoughts. To these five steps.
- They face a task. Good.
- What do you think about it?
- And what, in contrast, would be a constructive attitude? What would be a committed attitude?
- But do not you know? You have doubts, fears, weaknesses?
- Then stand by! Feelings that you are fighting are becoming stronger. You can only change what you accept.
So do not fight your doubts. Do the opposite:
Accepting doubts instead of fighting
It is an unusual recipe. Usually, when we are in doubt, we tend to think: “Don't act like that! Pull yourself together!" You are very likely to feel an inner resistance.
This is the reason why such attempts at self-persuasion do not work very often or well: they cost too much energy in the long run because they do not respect self-doubt, but under-starter. Unterbuttern costs strength and at the same time weakens self-esteem.
Best treatment for self-doubt: Pacing and Leading. Only unconditionally accept and appreciate. Then gently lead in the right direction.
How to find a job with 58 again?
A 58-year-old who applied for a job again after 24 years of motherhood countered the implicit reproach of the HR manager with this recipe: “That's right: I've been out of my job for ages. And what have I done in this eternity?
I have managed a family for 24 years and on the side half of my husband's office. Show me one of my competitors who has a similar qualification! ” Roar well, lioness! After the third interview, she had a job. No wonder with this attitude.
"It won't be anything!" - “Yes, it will be something!”
At the latest after the third failed attempt, many say: “It won't work! That's how I am, I don't change anymore, at my age, my parents already had problems with it, that's just a question of character! ”
After three unsuccessful attempts, many consider this to be naked facts. I'll tell you something: these are not facts. This is just a story we are telling ourselves.
What do we tell ourselves and what does it do to us?
Never tell unchangeable things about tasks and problems! They thus chronicle, ie, you expect this state to remain so, and so do exactly that.
But, of course, you should and should tell all the best, pleasurable and positive things as unchangeable!
Also the positive is unchangeable!
For example, after a great success: “That's just me! I always knew I was good at it. It's in my blood. I was able to do that as a child. ” Even if that's not entirely true: it makes you strong.
The greatest impact on well-being, satisfaction, mental, physical and physical health has been your ability to respect, acknowledge, praise, and treat yourself.
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