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84Tom Diesbrock ist Psychologe, Berater, Teamentwickler und Buchautor.Tom Diesbrock hat selbst eine kurvenreiche Karriere hinter sich: Angefangen mit einem Medizinstudium über die Arbeit in einem Musikprojekt und als Fotoredakteur, studierte er Psychologie und gründete eine Praxis für Psychotherapie. Heute arbeitet er in Hamburg als Coach und psychologischer Berater. Ein Schwerpunkt seiner Tätigkeit ist die Begleitung von Menschen bei ihrer beruflichen Neuorientierung. Sein Buch „Ihr Pferd ist tot? Steigen Sie ab!“ wurde in mehrere Sprachen übersetzt, im Oktober erscheint sein neues Buch „Jetzt mal Butter bei die Fische!“. Mehr Informationen unter tomdiesbrock.de All texts by Tom Diesbrock.

Self-care Strengthening self-love & self-confidence: Everybody's Darling, Everybody's Dork?

Do you often strive to be everybody's darling? Then you may not like what you are reading now: someone who gives reflexively will always come across people who like to take everything they can get.

everybodys-darling-everybodys-depp

If you do not trust, you should not be surprised

Where someone pushes around in the shadow and hopes that one perceives him and his performance, there will always be others who like to stand in the light and attract attention.

Wer sich nicht traut seine Tür abzuschließen, darf sich nicht über Leute wundern, die ohne Klopfen herein gelatscht kommen. Nur mit dem Finger auf die „vom Stamme Nimm“ zu zeigen und über das eigene Schicksal zu klagen, bringt in der Regel wenig.

Who wants to be loved in the job has a problem

Each of us seeks and needs appreciation and love. As adults, we should be able to distinguish between the two and look for both where we have a chance to find it.

Someone who is driven in the job first and foremost by his need for recognition and praise will probably experience a lot of frustration. If you want to be loved by colleagues and bosses, you have a real problem!

Do anything to be loved?

I do everything to be everybody's darling, as a client once said quite naturally. She really did almost everything for the affection of those around her, at work and in her private life.

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Their behavior, thinking and feeling followed a typical pattern that, by the way, I experience more often in women than in men: It is not an employment contract, instructions or task profile that determine behavior, but the deep desire to win and keep everyone's affection.

Wenn es kein „Nein“ gibt

This is the orientation and omits everything that could endanger this. A No is hardly in the vocabulary of the Everybody's Darling.

Whether the Manager, Colleagues or customers want something from him, he lets everything stand and lie, always has time and an open ear and lets everyone get involved. Your own work will then be done later. Probably when everyone else has long been home.

Can you just go?

With the popular question (which is of course not meant as a question) can you just ...? Anyone can interrupt him at any time and dump work on him. At the time, my client reported to me that her colleagues actually simply slammed tasks on the table for her that were not in her area of ​​responsibility.

Without even seriously asking if she would and could take care of it. Full of indignation, she reported how she paid for the taxi to the Christmas party (which she had organized, of course) and how none of the passengers had ever reimbursed her for the money.

Because it has proven itself ...

Ob sie es denn eingefordert habe? „Nein, das kann ich nicht. Man würde mich ja für kleinlich halten. Warum behandelt man mich so?“

Well, maybe because it worked well?

Because remember: if I don't take care of myself, probably no one else will. If I don't assert myself, others will have their way. And if I don't show myself, I'll be overlooked.

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2 responses to "Self-care Self-love & self-confidence strengthening: Everybody's Darling, Everybody's Idiot?"

  1. Thomas Eggert says:

    Mental self-management in everyday life & job - Part 2: Everybody's Darling, Everybody's… via BERUFEBILDER - Recommended contribution IoR5WAiw0s

  2. REGIS GMBH says:

    Mental self-management in everyday life & job - Part 2: Everybody's Darling, Everybody's… via BERUFEBILDER - Recommended contribution pXcOIwQAfn

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