If you do not trust, you should not be surprised
Where someone pushes around in the shadow and hopes that one perceives him and his performance, there will always be others who like to stand in the light and attract attention.
If you don't dare to lock your door, you shouldn't be surprised at people who come in without knocking. Just pointing the finger at the “Take from the Tribe” and complaining about your own fate usually doesn't help.
Who wants to be loved in the job has a problem
Each of us seeks and needs appreciation and love. As adults, we should be able to distinguish between the two and look for both where we have a chance to find it.
Someone who is driven in the job first and foremost by his need for recognition and praise will probably experience a lot of frustration. If you want to be loved by colleagues and bosses, you have a real problem!
Do anything to be loved?
I'm doing everything to be Everybody's Darling, once a client said. She did almost everything for the affection of her fellow human beings, in the job and also in her private life.
Their behavior, thinking and feeling followed a typical pattern, which, incidentally, I experience more often in women than in men: not work contract, instructions or task profile determine the behavior, but the deep desire to win and keep the affection of all.
If there is no “no”
This is the orientation and omits everything that could endanger this. A No is hardly in the vocabulary of the Everybody's Darling.
Whether the Manager, Colleagues or customers want something from him, he leaves everything for it and lie, has always time and an open ear and can be harnessed by everyone. Your own work will be done later. Probably when everyone else is already home.
Can you just go?
With the popular question (which of course is not meant as a question) can you just ...? anyone can interrupt him at any time and dump work on him. At the time, my client reported to me that her colleagues actually simply slammed tasks on the table for her that were not in her area of responsibility.
Without even seriously asking if she wanted to and could take care of it. Full of indignation she told how she had paid for the shared taxi for the Christmas party (which of course she had organized) and none of the passengers had ever paid her the money.
Because it has proven itself ...
Did she ask for it? "No, I can not do that. I would be considered petty. Why am I being treated like that? "
Well, maybe because it worked well?
Because remember: If I do not care for myself, probably no one else will. If I do not say so, others will get their way. And if I do not show myself, I'll be overlooked.
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German edition: ISBN 9783965965256
English version: ISBN 9783965965034 (Translation notice)
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