Answer questions properly?
In fact, you are free to ignore a question or expectation. The "overcoming, misting" method is, however, difficult for people who are more quiet. Their character implies that they want to answer every question properly.
So what can you do if your desire to act in conversation takes over? First, take each utterance of the other person as a conversation offer that you can accept or reject just as well. Instead of being silent, you can simply start a new theme and direct the conversation to a third direction which is both true and true.
A wonderful example of this can be found in Loriot in a well-known animated film The Interview or Pneumatic Plastology. In the film, Mr. Gilling wants to be the Chair of Pneumatic Plastology, Professor Heubl, interview live in the studio. However, he still has to wait for the start of the program. And the two bridge the time with an absurd dialogue: The Lord left: "My wife is a Capricorn."
The Lord on the right: "I have a long-haired dachshund."
The Lord left: "I am fish. Capricorn and fish are doing just fine. "
The Lord right: "I used to have two long-haired dachshunds, that did not work at all ..."
Just change the topic
The two each pick up a cue from the other and then tell of something completely different. Since our first goal is always to get the other person out of his mind, it is also a legitimate way to redirect the conversation in this way. Then next time you say in a similar situation, for example: "Oh, where I see this potted plant, you already noticed ..."
Just as in the case of the Plastologie-Interview everyone tells their own story, you can always start a new topic in a conversation. But do not exaggerate: As with many poisons, which heals in small doses, but fatal in high concentrations, it is also with this quick-reaction method.
Praise your attackers!
Other ways to divert the conversation: Think about what you want to compliment the other person or how you can praise them. As a rule, your attacker will be pretty baffled. For a verbal overlap to get a praise - such a reaction must first come to mind. And then you have to manage them elegantly. Possible introductions for this are: "They know each other very well ..."
"There speaks many years of experience."
"I admire your linguistic presentation."
We also keep our distance, of course.
Let your starve your long arm
Are you confused by questions or comments from your counterpart? Just ignore them! Elegant quick-wittedness also includes the ability not to want to strike back at all. Just let the other person who is trying to drive you up on your palm starve to death. The provocations will quickly stop.
A short commentary can be used wonderfully as a bridging or show the conversation partner that his statement was inappropriate. Take an example of Commander Spock from Star Trek Enterprise.
How does a short commentary work?
A short commentary can have several functions: On the one hand, it acts on the other, since it is used as an answer. On the other hand, it also affects us.
One teacher explained that he was moving into the mode of fundamental astonishment with the word "Aha". If you combine your favorite short comment with such an idea, you will gain a certain distance from the other and still show an interest.
Like Commander Spock
With a short comment you can also save time if you are silent and just to see if the silence and ignoring is not enough.
Commander Spock, the rather sentimental half-Vulcan in the TV series Starship Enterprise, usually responded to ominous phrases with "Interesting!" Or "Fascinating!" Through this intellectual (pre-) assessment without emotional gut reaction, he builds a gap of from which he always keeps the overview.
Loud or soft
You can pronounce the short comment aloud or think it only for yourself. Time and distance you will definitely win.
|I beg your pardon?||Ah yes.||Just say!|
|Might be.||So so!||Soooh.|
The game with the emphasis
Also play with the emphasis here. The sentence "Women can not think logically," a participant answered with a long "Ahaaa ?!" with increasing emphasis at the end and a very interested look. She has elegantly put together a question that your opponent could only shyly keep silent about. The wave bounced off the queen and hit her attacker herself.
"Ahaaa ?!" in this way is a good short commentary for many situations and usually provokes a helpful and factual rectification.
"Standards" method Speed counts!
The ›standards‹ method is also very simple. Instead of answering questions and verbal attacks individually, use a personal mix of memorized answers.
This, admittedly, is not always original and appropriate, but we remember that "ready-to-play" is almost always an attack on the personal plane and the relationship level; it does not aim anyway to clarify questions on the matter level.
According to our experience, the "Standards" method is more suitable for extroverted people, because the essential element is speed. So, if you're rare about words, but want to improve your speed with the best possible response, then this method is perfect for you.
Have a solid repertoire ready
A solid repertoire of standard responses and bridge sentences will help you gain time. Maybe enough time for a more appropriate response to the matter.
Even if you do not find anything fitting as a response, you can use the 'Standards' method to create an optimal and always useful life anchor if you miss the words.
Incidentally, in 80 percent of professional discussions, the use of sets of bridges and steering strategies is quite sufficient in order to sovereign ward off unfair and unobjective attacks. - What do you do best?
Define ten to fifteen sets of bridges and train their use in everyday life. Just try it out: you'll be surprised how eloquently they suddenly are.
Train your standard answers like a success mantra. Because that's exactly what this method offers. You will be less surprised and above all never be speechless again. Guaranteed!
Often the reference to the inappropriate tactics is enough: "Mr. Müller, we can not get on with blaming each other. Let's discuss how we can solve the problem now. My proposition…"
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