Slap strokes under the belt line: The best techniques against malicious attacks



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We are moved by the idea to make the world of work more human - without constant pressure for efficiency, stress and fear. As Publisher Best of HR - Berufebilder.de® with podcast, eLearning-on-demand offers and news service we share 15 years of experience with our customers (Samsung, Otto, state institutions). By the Top20 female blogger and consultant Simone Janson, referenced in ARD, ZEIT, Wikipedia .
Reprint: This text is from the book "Schlagfertigkeit (2015)" by Dr. Matthias Nöllke, published at Haufe Verlag, and was left to us for reprint.
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What to do if you want to get ready? We will show you how you can defend and parry in different degrees of hardness.

Shots under the belt line parry: The best techniques against malicious attacks boxing-unfair

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Here writes for you: Dr. Matthias Nöllke is SPIEGEL-Bestselling author and works for Bayrischer Rundfunk. Profile

Embrace technique

Overview

In boxing, it is considered foul behavior to embrace his opponent. Because who is hugged, can not strike anymore. And in a boxing match, the fists are supposed to fly. Unlike on the subject of repartee: Here, the verbal embrace is not only allowed, but often an excellent means to counter nasty attacks. This is especially true when the argument takes place in front of an audience, so listen to the colleagues or even random witnesses.

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At first glance, embrace technology does not seem particularly impressive. Yes, it seems like you are surrendering to the attacker. But you do not. On the contrary, you steer clear of the situation - and make the other look rather bad. You want to do something like that, because you are acting against the logic of the situation: your opponent attacks you, makes an angry, possibly even an offense. As a man ready to strike, one has to defend oneself and fight back. You do not have to.

Stunning effect

Overview

It's amazing what an effect you can achieve by complimenting your slobbering counterpart completely. That's not easy, because there must not be the slightest doubt that your words of appreciation are meant seriously. An ironic or even malicious undertone nullifies the effect of your "embrace".

But how do you make a sincere compliment to somebody who just cops you with crap? It is precisely this that is the art of "embrace technique," which works surprisingly well. Now you should not start any charm offensive that nobody will take away from you anyway. All it takes is a small, not entirely unbelievable compliment to upset the situation.

Example: The king of the demimonde

Overview

In a daily talk show appeared a somewhat older half world size: A scrawny gentleman with blond-colored hair and thick rings. The audience came down with malicious comments about him. Especially a young woman was upset. He was a "joke" and the like. But the skinny blonde responded prudently: he thinks it's "too bad" for her to say something like that about him. Because he would have the impression that she was "actually quite nice".

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This is not exactly like the magical liberation blow. Yet this little remark had a colossal effect. The insults stopped immediately. Although criticism was still practiced, the attacks were no longer directed against his person. Judging by the fact that almost everyone in the audience was against him, he came out unexpectedly well. And this is already noticeable in an environment in which the riot is heated rather than stopped.

A small compliment

Overview

It certainly costs a little overcoming, but in a heated situation, a small compliment can truly work miracles. It does not have to be particularly accurate (as our example shows). It is much more important that you do not get caught up in the excitement in such a situation, but remain absolutely calm, sovereign and nice.

It must not give the impression that you give the attacker right or submit to him. The rule is: Insults are not discussed. Rather, you can express your regret that your interlocutor "does not remain factual": "Otherwise, I appreciate you as a wise interlocutor and would like to talk to you about how to tackle the problem."

Tip:

Overview

The embrace technique can do amazing things. But you should only make sparing use of it. For it loses its effect as soon as the others have the impression: this is your "trick" to take the worst of unpleasant attacks.

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Do not let yourself be wrapped

Overview

As an outsider you are sometimes amazed how well this technique works. Someone else attacks another, criticizes hard, and when he counters with a compliment, the critic becomes tame. There is a certain danger in that, too, if you yourself are in the role of the critic. When you confront your supervisor or a colleague, and this is how you pull yourself out of the affair. It means staying tough. You will find that this is not so easy. Sometimes it helps to easily address the maneuver in question. Just like the journalist Günter Gaus in conversation with the politician Kurt Biedenkopf. Once he had praised him for a critical inquiry, Gaus noticed without any smile: "I can not be bribed by compliments either."

The good-mood switch

Overview

In the context of the verbal hugs also includes a technique that is more suitable for grumpy remarks and we want to call the "good mood switch". It's about having yours sovereignty Preserve by not being infected by the bad mood of your opponent, but demonstratively with a good mood against it.

If you make a fuss, do not bounce back, but respond cheerfully or with kindness. The basic idea: you are not infected by the bad mood of your opponent. If he's going to kill her alone, you'll stay relaxed and relaxed. This is why you remain sovereign.

Example: "With the greatest pleasure"

Overview

On the plane, Mrs. Dettmer folds her back to the back. From behind, a voice growls: "If you put your back a little forward, then I can still sit!" Mrs. Dettmer trims briefly and explains laughing: "But for you with the greatest pleasure."

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Before you provide your answer with an ironic tip ("For such nice people I like doing something like that ..."), remember: Without a tip, you better get out of the situation and do not have to listen to more grumpy comments.

However, if you are personally degraded or even made contemptuous, then it is not done with the laying around of the "good mood switch". Then you should set yourself harder to defend yourself. Because the good mood switch is a soft technique, with which you can meet especially unfriendliness and gruff remarks sovereign.


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  1. Eva Zil

    Paring blows below the belt: The best techniques against malicious attacks by Dr. Matthias ... - Highly recommended oQZAumfqgs #HR #hrblogs

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