At the beginning is the will to negotiate
Negotiation success begins with the conscious decision to enter the negotiation want. If we are unwilling to leave our position in the first place, ie to have room for negotiation, we do not negotiate, but extort or provide ultimatums ("You are free to accept or reject my proposal").
Once you know the interests of your negotiating partner, you can flexibly suggest options, simulate possible consequences, and thus have several irons in the fire.
The more rejected options, the greater the pressure
The more options your negotiating partner has already rejected, the more he is under pressure to adopt the next one. Do not be compelling, but flexible!
You can not convince a fat man who stubbornly believes in his opinion. But if you negotiate flexibly, you can concentrate on the way your counterpart is viewed and will always have a suggestion more than your partner!
Define your own scope for negotiation
Defining your own negotiation margin in the preparation phase helps not to collapse too quickly later ("My limit of pain is reached").
Accordingly, successful negotiation requires a clear goal definition (maximum goal, minimum goal, okay goal). Then and only then can you focus your energies towards this goal.
Objectives and alternatives
"You have to know the destination before you choose the means of transport," says the vernacular. Where do I want to go? - and only then I will clarify how to get there.
And: Do you always have an alternative! What do you do if you do not come to this conclusion with this negotiating partner? For as the science journalist Jörg Zittlau says so beautifully: "The stronger in any negotiation is the one who is more willing to get up and go without results".
Am I Goliath or David?
So, clarify the question in advance: "Am I Goliath or David here?" And remember, this may be very different in the next negotiation.
As George Bernhard Shaw said so beautifully: "The only sensible person I know is my tailor. He restarts every time he sees me. Everyone else always goes the same way. "
The question of victory or defeat is obviously more important to our brains than we generally suspect. And that can lead to unimaginable consequences, especially when we should actually be prudent.
Everybody is a profit fanatic
I've heard of people who, after losing a FIFA simulation game, have actually smashed the glass table in front of the sofa. No, this was not an 12-yearling offspring, but an adult academic.
Women like men are equally fanatic. Whether it's the Miss Germany, a Bundesliga match or an Olympic sport discipline, the tears flow regularly with both sexes.
Dopamine release at every win
Only our brain is responsible for that. A study by Yale University has investigated this in the simple puzzle game "scissors, stone, paper" and let the subjects compete against a computer.
There was neither a prize in a win, nor a penalty in a defeat, and yet the brain was fully involved in the game. Our brain has a reward center that releases dopamine in a joyful event - we feel lucky. In case of defeat exactly the opposite is the case.
Revenge is sweet
True is from many experiences: you can be sure that the dirt that is thrown back sooner or later. These disturbances at the relationship level result in a disruption of the negotiation process at the factual level.
And even disadvantages for one's own position are more likely to be tolerated than to give the other the smallest negotiation success. This can go so far that one would rather fall into the abyss - or the chandelier - as a concession.
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