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chatNatalie Schnack is an industrial engineer and visibility coach who supports self-employed and employees in getting out of camouflage and showing the world what they are made of. Her first book “30 Minutes Self-Assertion” was published in August 2013. Before that, the graduate industrial engineer (FH) worked for one of the largest media companies in Europe for more than ten years, most recently as project manager for customer orientation. Her career is anything but self-evident: Born in Kazakhstan, she had to start small as a child of German emigrants and pave her way. More information at www.natalieschnack.de

Get more respect: dominance or adjustment?

Status is nothing stable. In every encounter, he is always renegotiated, even with people we have known forever. The exciting thing about the status is that this assignment runs unconsciously. effective communication

Why do we behave like this and not otherwise?

This is how it happens: Body language, voice, what is said and the way of speaking are “scanned”. Then a decision is made in a matter of seconds about how we behave.

It is only in retrospect that we often ask ourselves why we have behaved in this way and not in any other way without a clear answer. If we are aware of these processes, we can make targeted changes.

Dominance or adaptation?

By status is understood as strategies to reach conscious and unconscious goals. We choose the strategy according to what we think is more useful and promising in a given situation. But how does this status develop?

The status behavior arises in our interior, invisible to others. Depending on how we assess a situation, how we perceive our communication partner and see ourselves at that moment, our status feeling differs - and with it our status behavior. Outwardly, through our behavior, we send signals aimed at domination or adaptation.

The reality as a cutout

We only perceive a section of reality. The perceived is processed and evaluated by our individual inner filters. This rating depends on ...

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  • our values ​​and beliefs,
  • what we think about ourselves,
  • our attitude to other people,
  • the goals we pursue,
  • and the emotions created by this assessment.

Only then we decide how to react.

An example

Now let's take a look at this process with a concrete example.

  1. Situation: You are talking to a colleague who acts dominant and instructive towards you.
  2. You perceive in what tone the colleague speaks to you and assess the extent to which you feel the behavior of your colleague as appropriate. Probably you find it inappropriate, after all, you expect an appreciative deal with each other.
  3. Your general opinion about the colleague is included in the further evaluation as well as your view of yourself: whether you like the colleague or not, if you consider him more competent than yourself, you are afraid of him ... All of this is included here.
  4. Your response then depends on how you compare yourself to your colleague: if you see yourself as less important or valuable than yours, your behavior will be different from what you think is just as important and valuable.

Deep status or high status?

This means, depending on whether you are in the deep state or an internal high status, your response would be different. So either take it quietly or lean against it.

Not that we misunderstand: both low and high status are very important for clear communication. The only question is, in what form. Who exaggerates it with the dominance will not achieve as long-lasting, as someone who totally submits. That's why I developed eye-level status.

Find out more - our books on the subject

3 responses to "Getting more respect: dominance or adaptation?"

  1. Competencepartner says:

    Finally being taken seriously - 2/4: Dominance or adaptation ?: Status is not permanent. ... - Exciting contributiontGfphqFEWD #Profile #Development

  2. firm-job says:

    Finally being taken seriously - 2/4: Dominance or adaptation ?: Status is not permanent. In every encounter ... - Exciting contributionurpYvtCEQ7

  3. jobs_ch says:

    This creates status behavior

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