Why do we behave like this and not otherwise?
This is how it happens: Body language, voice, what is said and the way of speaking are “scanned”. Then a decision is made in a matter of seconds about how we behave.
It is only in retrospect that we often ask ourselves why we have behaved in this way and not in any other way without a clear answer. If we are aware of these processes, we can make targeted changes.
Dominance or adaptation?
By status is understood as strategies to reach conscious and unconscious goals. We choose the strategy according to what we think is more useful and promising in a given situation. But how does this status develop?
The status behavior arises in our interior, invisible to others. Depending on how we assess a situation, how we perceive our communication partner and see ourselves at that moment, our status feeling differs - and with it our status behavior. Outwardly, through our behavior, we send signals aimed at domination or adaptation.
The reality as a cutout
We only ever perceive a part of reality. The perceived is processed and evaluated by our individual inner filters. This rating depends on ...
- our values and beliefs,
- what we think about ourselves,
- our attitude to other people,
- the goals we pursue,
- and the emotions created by this assessment.
Only then we decide how to react.
Now let's take a look at this process with a concrete example.
- Situation: You are talking to a colleague who acts dominant and instructive towards you.
- You perceive in what tone the colleague speaks to you and assess the extent to which you feel the behavior of your colleague as appropriate. Probably you find it inappropriate, after all, you expect an appreciative deal with each other.
- Your general opinion about the colleague flows into the further evaluation as well as your view of yourself: like the colleagues or not, consider him more competent than himself, you are afraid of him ... All this flows in here.
- Your response then depends on how you compare yourself to your colleague: if you see yourself as less important or valuable than yours, your behavior will be different from what you think is just as important and valuable.
Deep status or high status?
This means, depending on whether you are in the deep state or an internal high status, your response would be different. So either take it quietly or lean against it.
Not that we misunderstand: both low and high status are very important for clear communication. The only question is, in what form. Who exaggerates it with the dominance will not achieve as long-lasting, as someone who totally submits. That's why I developed eye-level status.
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