Empathy instead of rage
Parents did not sleep all night because their child was screaming, and it continues to go on without interruption during the morning. They feel a sense of annoyance and rage and control them through a variety of behaviors.
The mother breathes a few times deeply and clarifies, for example, once again that the child now has a toothache and nothing can be for it. This empathy helps her to bear the screaming of the child better.
Positive feelings conquer
The employee of a call center, who has to deal especially with unfriendly customers, wakes up in the morning with the ringing of the alarm clock and has no desire to go to work at all.
But perhaps think of the nice colleagues who are waiting for him, or that this is Friday and that he and his girlfriend will go to a wonderful wellness hotel at the weekend. He manages to create positive emotions within himself, to feel better.
You are on the highway at high speed on the road and suddenly sheared out another car and forces you to slow down. They feel anger and would like to scream at once and get the person in front of them.
But they pull themselves together and say "Well, come on, the highway is not yours alone" and thereby manage to tame your strong anger again.
Without emotion control it is not
At this point, thousands of other examples could be mentioned, which illustrate what Emotionssteuerung has in it. As you can see, we all control our emotions in a more or less conscious and more or less intense way.
If we did not do so, we would not be able to practice our jobs or to live with other people in a society.
Beware of the steam boiler
But beware! Emotional control has nothing to do with the suppression of feelings, even if we have to do this again and again, because if you control your emotions in this way, you are more likely to work according to the steam boiler principle:
at some point the emotions will pave their way and you will explode. Emotionssteuerung is a process in which a person feels a negative, we also call it non-resiliente, emotion controls so that he really feels a positive emotion.
The emotions must be genuine
For example, the mother described above will feel a real sense of forbearance and compassion for her child. If she said “pull yourself together!” At the point, the feeling of anger would remain in her.
We know from numerous research findings that the introduction of emotions leads to an emotional dissonance. This is the case, for example, if the call center agent permanently feels frustration because of his activity, but constantly smiles on the telephone.
Bad emotions lead to stress
This leads to internal stress, with all the hormonal consequences that trigger stress with us. If this is done over several months, even years, this can lead to people becoming physically ill.
So he has only the possibility to try to change something in his work or to direct his emotions in a positive direction.
The will to emotion control
Highly resilient people are thus able to control their emotions particularly well. The importance of this ability becomes particularly clear when one leaves the level of the individual situations described above and looks at a highly resilient person overall.
Why is that? Because these people have an unwavering will in a realm of their lives: the will that they are doing well. Accordingly, they take the right action very quickly so that they can be emotionally restored, that they are happy. For you do not forget: happiness is an emotion.
Resiliency is the ability to feel better again
All the other six skills that make Resiliency have a more or less strong influence on precisely this ability: the ability to perceive its negative emotions and then take the right action to feel better. No more, but also not less, do we mean under this concept of emotion control, which is only very technically appealing.
In other words, if, as the Dalai Lama says, it is true that the real one Sense of life is the pursuit of happiness, and we realize that happiness is nothing other than a sensation, that is, nothing primarily material, we become fully aware of the full scope of this ability.
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