Communicate instantly like Mr. Spock: The main thing is nebulous!


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Text comes from: Einfach schlagfertig: Zehn Methoden, die jeder anwenden kann (2015) from Peter Kensok, Petra Schächtele-Philipp, published by BusinessVillage Verlag, Reprints by friendly permission of the publisher.
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You get an unfair question asked? Who actually forces you to respond? Who exactly expects you to actually fall into the trap that your opponent has just asked you?

commander-spock

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Petra Schächtele-Philipp schaechtlePetra Schächtele-Philipp is a trainer and rhetorician.

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Peter Kensok peter_kensokPeter Kensok is Peter Kensok is communication trainer, coach and psychotherapist. 

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Answer questions properly?

In fact, you are free to ignore a question or expectation. The "overcoming, misting" method is, however, difficult for people who are more quiet. Their character implies that they want to answer every question properly.

So what can you do if your desire to act in conversation takes over? First, take each utterance of the other person as a conversation offer that you can accept or reject just as well. Instead of being silent, you can simply start a new theme and direct the conversation to a third direction which is both true and true.

Like Loriot

A wonderful example of this can be found in Loriot in a well-known animated film The Interview or Pneumatic Plastology. In the film, Mr. Gilling wants to be the Chair of Pneumatic Plastology, Professor Heubl, interview live in the studio. However, he still has to wait for the start of the program. And the two bridge the time with an absurd dialogue: The gentleman on the left: "My wife is an ibex."

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The gentleman on the right: "I have a long-haired dachshund."

The gentleman on the left: “I am fish. Capricorn and fish go quite well. ”

The gentleman on the right: "I used to have two long-haired dachshunds, that wasn't possible at all ..."

Just change the topic

The two pick up one cue from the other and then tell about something completely different. Since our first goal is always to get the other out of his guts, it is also a legitimate means to redirect the conversation in this way. Then say next time in a similar situation, for example: "Oh, wherever I see this potted plant, you have already noticed ..."

Just as in the case of the Plastologie-Interview everyone tells their own story, you can always start a new topic in a conversation. But do not exaggerate: As with many poisons, which heals in small doses, but fatal in high concentrations, it is also with this quick-reaction method.

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Praise your attackers!

Other ways to divert the conversation: Think about what you want to compliment the other person or how you can praise them. As a rule, your attacker will be pretty baffled. For a verbal overlap to get a praise - such a reaction must first come to mind. And then you have to manage them elegantly. Possible introductions for this are: “They know each other very well…”

"There speaks years of experience."

"I admire your speech."

We also keep our distance, of course.

Let your starve your long arm

Are you confused by questions or comments from your counterpart? Just ignore them! Elegant quick-wittedness also includes the ability not to want to strike back at all. Just let the other person who is trying to drive you up on your palm starve to death. The provocations will quickly stop.

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A short commentary can be used wonderfully as a bridging or show the conversation partner that his statement was inappropriate. Take an example of Commander Spock from Star Trek Enterprise.

How does a short commentary work?

A short commentary can have several functions: On the one hand, it acts on the other, since it is used as an answer. On the other hand, it also affects us.

One teacher explained that he was moving into the mode of fundamental astonishment with the word "Aha". If you combine your favorite short comment with such an idea, you will gain a certain distance from the other and still show an interest.

Like Commander Spock

With a short comment you can also save time if you are silent and just to see if the silence and ignoring is not enough.

Commander Spock, the fairly emotionally neutral semi-Vulcan in the Starship Enterprise TV series, usually responded to threatening phrases with “Interesting!” or "Fascinating!" Through this intellectual (pre) evaluation without an emotional belly reaction, he builds up a distance from which he always maintains an overview.

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Loud or soft

You can pronounce the short comment aloud or think it only for yourself. Time and distance you will definitely win.

short comments
I beg your pardon? Ah yes. Just say!
Oh. What?! Moment!
There look. Interesting! Nanu?
Might be. So so! Soooh.
Oh, so. Yikes! Aha.

The game with the emphasis

Play with the emphasis here too. The participant replied to the sentence “Women cannot think logically” with a long “Ahaaa ?!” with increasing emphasis at the end and an extremely interested look. In doing so, she elegantly presented a question that the other person could only shamefully keep silent about. The wave ricocheted off the lady and hit her attacker herself.

"Ahaaa ?!" This is a good short comment for many situations and usually provokes a helpful and factual correction.

“Standards” method Speed ​​counts!

The ›standards‹ method is also very simple. Instead of answering questions and verbal attacks individually, use a personal mix of memorized answers.

This, admittedly, is not always original and appropriate, but we remember that "ready-to-play" is almost always an attack on the personal plane and the relationship level; it does not aim anyway to clarify questions on the matter level.

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According to our experience, the "Standards" method is more suitable for extroverted people, because the essential element is speed. So, if you're rare about words, but want to improve your speed with the best possible response, then this method is perfect for you.

Have a solid repertoire ready

A solid repertoire of standard responses and bridge sentences will help you gain time. Maybe enough time for a more appropriate response to the matter.

Even if you do not find anything fitting as a response, you can use the 'Standards' method to create an optimal and always useful life anchor if you miss the words.

Train bridges

Incidentally, in 80 percent of professional discussions, the use of sets of bridges and steering strategies is quite sufficient in order to sovereign ward off unfair and unobjective attacks. - What do you do best?

Define ten to fifteen sets of bridges and train their use in everyday life. Just try it out: you'll be surprised how eloquently they suddenly are.

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Your success

Train your standard answers like a success mantra. Because that's exactly what this method offers. You will be less surprised and above all never be speechless again. Guaranteed!

Often the reference to the non-factual tactics is sufficient: “Mr. Müller, with mutual blame we can not get ahead. Let us discuss how we can solve the problem now. My proposition…"


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  1. Michael Kruger

    It is actually difficult not to be silenced with killer phrases in such a dialogue. A golden rule is - if you justify yourself, you lose. Great methods are listed here, how to get out of such a situation well or not to get in at all. The counter-questions are always a good way of doing this.

    • Simone Janson

      Thank you for your contribution, since you are right, of course. We will discuss the subject of questions and counter-questions in the next article of this series.

  2. firm-job

    10 ways to be more quick-witted - 4: Stay foggy !: You get an unfair question? Who… - Exciting contribution1Mg21V32jf

  3. Competencepartner

    10 methods for more reparteeism - 4: Stay foggy !: You get an unfair question. - Exciting contributionFPkxzZI2Th #Profile #Production

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