From positive thinking to affirmation
Talk well to yourself. If no one is listening, also out loud: “I'm calm. One by one. How do I find that? Calm your blood, everything will be fine. " Thus the pastor and author Norman Vincent Peale became the most popular exponent of positive thinking outside of psychotherapy. Even in the new millennium, his approach to mental techniques is by no means old style and is even enhanced in the concept of Noah St. John's affirmations.
Other than the affirmations, affirmations trigger actively shaping processes on a mental level - and this through a small and powerful “editorial” intervention.
Like a counter-charm
An example is a wailing whine of your partner or your partner. First, be aware that there is a subtle way of control that you can consciously accept or reject.
This is particularly difficult if, for example, tears are the "usual" means of choice to appeal to your helpfulness and compliance. Here, too, the separation of information and emotion helps in terms of quick wit and distance.
Who's crying is not right
You will soon realize that tears are just an expression of momentary emotions and, at best, a statement of emotional concern that can be different for any other person in the same situation.
Tears do not say anything about whether someone is right and therefore basically a claim to our support.
Use inverse logic
You can also use this kind of inverse logic in your work and react completely differently than expected. Ask yourself:
- What did the other actually say?
- Is there any interruption that you have just found impertinent?
- Is there a part that you might even agree with?
Agree instead of annoy
Praise this part, ignore the rest, and then continue your own argumentation
“Exactly Mr. Maier, we agree on point X. Let us now turn to the things that we should also consider and that complete the picture. ”
The art of not reacting
The goal of this exercise is to break away from the supposed obligation to emotionally respond to the behavior of others. Federal Chancellor Angelika Merkel is a true master in the art of acting responsively by non-reacting and thus initiating political decisions.
Their seeming idleness is one of the classic themes of every contemporary political cabaret artist. Not bad for a person who has been described as the most powerful woman in the world for years.
Take time for the reaction
Angela Merkel ignores media representatives and political opponents, no matter how loudly they demand a statement from the Chancellor. It adjourns rather than spontaneously making a directional decision, avoiding the possible traps of your opponents. The Chancellor takes the time to determine your reactions and then acts confidently.
Even in talkshows, you can admire the art of not responding as a form of quickness. The fact that politicians simply ignore a question or an attack from a counterparty is no accident, but a conscious strategy.
A strategy that works
And the apparent non-reaction as a strategy works! It shows the opponent how the balance of power is distributed: Whoever answers every question, is deeper in the hierarchy than the skillful silence.
A zero reaction shows that you can not predict the course of the conversation. If you want to be more playful in such situations, then you can still participate in the conversation with interest and benevolent silence, without having to react to the obstinacy of your opponents. Maybe you really do not want that.
Repartee as a mental protective screen
But why do we always have to react to attacks? Because people open questions usually barely endure. But we can override this response reflex.
Positive soliloquies are not cheap or ineffective tricks of successful coaches of the last century. Even Émile Coué, the founder of modern, conscious auto-suggestion, healed his patients with the sentence: "I feel better and better every day in every way!" This affirmation releases affirmative, unconscious forces.
The power of the subconscious: Have positive self-talk
While Émile Coué would offer us a statement like, "I get smart every day," Noah St. John would ask a question, "Why am I smart?" As with any question, the subconscious will automatically look for answers that we can only understand if we understand them.
This is also the case if we really should not be ready at all. But we are already getting ready to be ready and to develop our resources: we will be able to cope better even in difficult situations, because we already know how quick-wittedness feels.
How does the response reflex work?
Think about your absolute favorite book. Where did you buy this book? - Once you have read this question, you will have gone back in time to answer them. For example, you'll remember the bookstore, the order page on the Internet, or the fact that you saw the book with a friend.
Maybe he even lent it to you or even given it to you. This is an example of the so-called response reflex. They have already known him above in the state control through affirmations. People are questioning beings and can not tolerate open questions.
You do not have to answer every question
So use this reflex and apply it to your attackers. Should he do the work himself! German journalist and former editor of Capital magazine, Johannes Gross, said in this Sense:
“Good parents teach their children: You shouldn't lie! They forget to teach the child: you don't have to answer every question. ”
Edit justification reflex
As soon as two people meet, there is a game of action and reaction. Attacks or reprisals, for example, quickly lead to justifications. This is not necessary!
Pay attention to key actions like this: We mostly justify ourselves to “Why…” on why questions. Attacks provoke defense or counter-attacks. Once our opinion is said, we hardly move away from it.
Avoid answering any question
Avoid answering any question or responding to any reproaches. Next time someone says to you:
"You had promised me it would work that way!" Then explain - nothing. For explanations, you will most likely only reap ingratitude or indignation. Instead, say, "I was obviously wrong."
React, instead of being offended
It is the same with personal criticism. If you feel personally criticized, don't discuss that criticism. But react immediately! The longer you tolerate an attack, the harder it will be to fend it off later:
"That may be, but at the moment we are talking about ..." "Before I answer: Be so kind and give us your name. This way we can all get to know each other a little better. ”
Always remember: if you claim something, you must prove it and you should be able to sign it personally! Maybe even in court.
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