The fairy tale of poor Schmitt
Sometimes you are just too nice for this world. Or is at least so pretend. For instance, Schmitt complained about his back pain. He had not had an eye all night, and he only surpassed the day in the office with painkillers. Ohye Ohje .. if you could not but the filestuffel still there for him, so that he at least today punctually comes home ...
You can - because you are not a monster. Poor Schmitt, bad back pain like that, he can not do anything, let him rest.
Say no - but please on time!
And oh, miracle, the whole of the next day Schmitt is gorgeous. Super thinks, he is fully there. And allowed himself a small criticism of his work, which is noticed when working through the file pile.
But alas, suddenly the back pain is back, Schmitt squirming in pain on the chair, he still has a headache, the poor guy. In the end, it is still to blame because it dared to criticize him.Also apologized. "Yes," Schmitt hacked right away "Your criticism has certainly promoted that ..." And Selbsredend you will stay longer today to work through the next batch of files, because Schmitt is of course gone earlier.
School games: when other guilty feelings exploit
School games call these psychological consequences. The deliberate or unconscious defense of a bad conscience that is based on a social convention - in this case: Schmitt is sick and weak, you have to help him.
Such people, however, sometimes use their helpfulness shamelessly, even without realizing it. So you want to meet the people so a bit, helpful to reach out to the little finger - but they always want more than just ready to give, preferably the same hand, oh even the whole arm.
Do it one hundred percent and never say "no"?
And then? What happens if you Chef She asks you to quickly complete a special task for him that only you can do or a colleague begs you to jump in as a good buddy for him? The great dilemma begins here, especially for perfected, timid natures. In such cases they say grudgingly yes and take over the unplanned additional work - and, typical perfectionist, just one hundred percent.
Because the motto of perfectionists is: "Everything that is not one hundred percent is not good!" Could this sentence come from you? And are not you struggling enough and exhausting yourself to reach one hundred percent? And now think about it: are not things in your life that are not one hundred percent - and still good?
Perfectionists can not say no
Reason: They can not say "no" and always do so much for fear of making themselves unpopular-and with their desire for control, it's hard for them to give work to colleagues or employees they do not trust. For perfectionists, there is a sense of security, to be considered irreplaceable. For this reason, they often ask for additional work that completely breaks their schedule and causes them even more stress.
Then it comes to the point where the smiths of this world are bellowed, until they no longer know where the front and back are, because they are really so small and weak. And one is also still the asshole, because one has made the weak, sick Schmitt to the sow.
Saying "No" in time prevents the big bang
And the moral of the story? Say "no" in time. So about the second batch of files. When you realize that your own goodwill is being exploited. Reasonably justify to the boss and your colleagues why you can not comply with their requests.
After all, you have already met the colleague. Sure, it makes you feel like a bad person. But think about things that make you upset yourself: Do not you mind about their chaos twenty times a day? And do you take offense at your colleague in the long term? No. It is the same with your refusal. Even if they are angry or insulted at first, your colleagues will eventually realize that this is not the case - and respect you for it.
Better to avoid the stress right away
And you've always saved yourself a lot of stress - and always remember it! Because that's not why you have so much fun at work sometimes, and it's going so well because you have less stress and can loosen up a bit. Or the meeting last week: Actually, the boss wanted to discuss something completely different. But then the discussion became totally chaotic, but some very good ideas came to the table.
With a little thought, you will probably come up with many such examples, all of which are not one hundred percent, but still good! Because if you say no and you do not do something perfectly, it does not mean that you are flawed or sloppy. It depends on the right amount. And you finally set yourself the right measure! Because most of the others expect less from you than yourself. Therefore, your "no" is accepted.
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