Perfectionism and fear of failure: all or no change

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Do you know that? “Yes, I would very, very much like to change my job! But if I'm looking for a new job, it should of course also be my dream job. I have some good ideas - but unfortunately they're all too big to be implemented. Unfortunately I have to stay where I am. What a shame."

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Here writes for you:


Tom Diesbrock 84Tom Diesbrock is a psychologist, consultant, team developer and book author.


From the author:




The way to the dream job

Some people have big professional dreams, and that's very good too. One would like to be a test pilot, the next development worker, another would like to own one Companies conduct.

Not all professional projects are accessible to everyone - some dream jobs are almost impossible due to certain factors such as age or physical fitness. Others require years of construction work or commitment that can not be achieved at the moment.

In small steps to success

Nevertheless, such a great professional goal can be helpful in any case: Either I find out what interests me so much, and try to find another, more easily realizable activity, which aims in a similar direction.

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Or I look at my dream as a long-range goal and concentrate on the first steps in this direction. So far, so constructively.

Better a growling stomach than no pancake

But it is also different: I can use a career as an argument, so that I do not have to move from the spot. As if I were very hungry, would now like to eat pancakes, but unfortunately they are not on the menu.

So I prefer to eat nothing with a growling stomach and rave about how delicious pancakes are now - not a sensible strategy.

Caution If-trap

I call such a mechanism an if-trap: By making my actions dependent on a certain condition that will not happen with great certainty, I avoid being active and perhaps realizing the second best idea.

So I have a "good excuse" for myself and others for remaining hungry and dissatisfied. For example, if I have been an accountant for years and my job is hanging around, I have to support a family and dream of working as an independent organic farmer, this idea will hardly be able to be implemented quickly.

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Long-term goals instead of short-term changes

It would be constructive to look at it as a long-term goal and to prepare myself for it by means of further education, research and networking in order to make the transition possible in a few years.

This course would of course require a high degree of perseverance and frustration tolerance. I would have to endure my unloved job for a while, and my reward would be far away and not 100% secure.

Impossible, paper basket, done

On the other hand, I would have the chance one day to do what I really want. With the all-or-not-at-all strategy, I make it easier for myself in the first place by giving my wish the stamp “impracticable” and thus putting it in the trash.

At every suitable opportunity, however, I take him out, dream or tell others about how nice it would be if ... I explain (to myself and others) that I would rather give up my dead horse today than tomorrow - the only real alternative, unfortunately is not feasible.

Day dreams that make the gray job day more tolerable

And maybe most people nod then and confirm that this really does not work. I always leave some pressure inside. For reveling in beautiful dreams makes the gray Joballtag slightly easier to bear for a while - like a cinema film that lets me forget the reality for two hours.

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Such a wonderful idea! But nothing changes. In doing so, I am using this strategy as a stone in the way, which could lead me to many other, perhaps somewhat smaller but still good solutions.

Do you have a Traumberuf or a nice big professional idea that you consider to be unattainable and use as an argument to hold onto your current job?

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