Last summer I did LinkedIn founder Konstantin Guericke interviewed, who also revealed to me his networking secret: whenever he needed new contacts, he went to lunch with someone.
Because most people have to eat food and why not have an interesting conversation? Systematic lunch so to speak. A really good idea. Only the own table manners should perhaps not be so bad for it - a few tips for the Small-Talk-Knigge is available here.
As a physics Nobel laureate with small talk successful
And physics Nobel laureate Richard P. Feynman made small talk on a very simple principle: with genuine interest. He asked if he did not understand something. So writes ours author Cornelia Topf: Feynman had no idea. But an almost limitless interest. When a salon lioness got excited about the new Beluga harvest, Feynman's first thought was that of every small talk greenhorn: “Oh God! Who cares about Beluga! I am a physicist! I don't even know what Beluga is! ” But his second thought was: “You don't understand that? Then let me explain it to you! ” And he said: "Sorry: why isn't the new Beluga harvest good?" #
Fear of Small Talk: Because we want to be loved
Cornelia Topf But in her series on small talk, she wrote a lot more - for example, why the idea of having to talk to strangers triggers so many fears in people like Marketeer mentioned earlier.
Namely, because we all want to be loved and are afraid of embarrassing ourselves, especially when we do not know our interlocutor. Maybe because one or the other is under pressure to sell something now. And pressure is known to cause relaxation.
Inhibitions can be expensive
As Oliver Schumacher's text about the Success of networking on sales shows inhibitions to be really expensive. Because people buy from people. And also Schumacher reports from his trainings that people avoid contact with other people for fear of rejection.
This can be expensive, says Schumacher: For selling is not about booting, but about the interest in the opposite, as Schumacher writes: That is why it is elementary, not with the attitude “I want to sell something - let’s see who I can sell to today!” to go to events, but with the mindset "Let's see what 5 interesting people I will meet today."
What it really is
Exactly here lies however a widespread error, with which also Cornelia Topf wants to clean up: Unlike many believe, the small talk is not just about something schwabätzten therefore. On the contrary, this often leads to talking about the head and neck and is perceived as extremely unsympathetic.
Much more is important to listen, listen to others and show honest interest. This is the only way to create trust between people. Probably the hare in the pepper is here: many ask themselves why what the other one says there is to be of interest at all.
SmallTalk at a glance
In this way, according to Topf, empathy can be learned simply by walking through the world with open eyes and ears. Here is the overview of her Small-Talk Series.
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German edition: ISBN 9783965961166
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