How parents have a negative impact on their careers: Mom as a hit killer

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In childhood, the course is set for later success in life: not only in education but psychologically through the direct influence of the parents. Because you can do a lot wrong here.

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Simone Janson Simone JansonSimone Janson is publisherConsultant and head of the Institute's job pictures Yourweb.


Over half of the children are already in therapy

Childhood is not always child's play these days. More and more children grow up with parents living separately, they learn in ever larger classes and graduate in twelve years. Almost half of the children were already in therapy. This also has an impact on success at work.

In a Forsa survey commissioned by the Techniker Krankenkasse (TK), half of the parents surveyed stated that their child had received therapeutic support before. More than one in four children between the ages of six and 18 received speech therapy (speech therapy), almost one in five occupational therapy and the same number of children were in physiotherapy.

To little space for development?

The TK survey found that the proportion of children who watch television for more than two hours a day is greater among children with therapy experience than among students who grow up without professional help. “You don't learn to speak in front of the television.

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At least one in ten children were treated psychotherapeutically. In addition, the survey found that girls are significantly more affected, only barely 40 percent of the children treated were boys. Are the Germans on the right path to become a people of neuroticists?

Social structures reproduce themselves

But parents also have a direct impact on their children's careers. This probably starts with choosing a career: According to a study by the Bertelsmann Foundation entitled “Youth and Career”, choosing a career is one of the few areas in which parents still ask their children for advice. There is general agreement that the professional success of the parents increases pressure on the children - in this opinion, 60 percent of all respondents - and the failure of the parents makes their own career more difficult (43 percent believe this).

In this regard, it is problematic that there are definitely solidified social structures that seem to reproduce themselves. For example, a study commissioned by the DGB “Young people without vocational qualifications” shows that young people with a migration background, whose parents are little familiar with Germany's education and training system and who themselves have a low level of education and training, cannot receive sufficient support from their parents .

Starting difficulties are a career obstacle

It is precisely these young people who are more self-reliant than others, and thus, one can conclude, rarely succeed in transitioning from school to education.

However, anyone who has difficulty starting their own career also lacks important prerequisites for making a career: the right behavior, the right contacts - and, above all, the necessary self-confidence.

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Also role behavior reproduces itself

According to the Forsa survey, the role models that are lived out at home are also important: For almost half of the father is a professional role model - but only 37 percent said so from their mothers. And only a fifth of all respondents (18 percent) were heavily influenced by their parents when choosing a career. After all, the younger the respondents (16 to 29 years), the more important is the mother as a professional role model.

Maybe it is also related to the fact that only 22 percent of German men believe that women are the better bosses. For women, the rate looks better, but not exactly self-confident: Only 41 percent consider their own gender for the better leaders.

What does optimal funding look like?

But what can parents do who want to support their children in the best possible way? The goal should be to train the children's communication skills, movement, perception, coordination and attention. Speech therapy, for example, makes sense when it comes to counteract language errors such as stuttering or lisping at an early stage. York Scheller, psychologist at TK, states:

“Fortunately, there are now very good opportunities to support children with developmental problems therapeutically. It is remarkable that almost every second schoolchild is now experienced in therapy and this trend is even increasing. It raises the question of whether we give the children sufficient incentives and space in their everyday lives to develop. In addition to all therapy options, it is still important that parents and educators playfully support the children in their everyday lives ”

Less TV, more exchange with the environment?

For linguistic - and of course motor skills - it is important that children perceive themselves and their environment in real life. Exchanging ideas with others and social interaction is essential for this. However, the TK survey shows that children who need therapeutic help in particular play less often with friends than others. More than ten percent of their parents said that their son or daughter did not meet friends at all. Another 37 percent play with other children for a maximum of one hour a day. Psychologist Scheller:

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“What was still a matter of course for the parent generation to meet their peers after school and homework is obviously true for fewer and fewer children today. This is exactly what is so important for them. Playing with others promotes curiosity and independence. The children have a natural urge to move and only if they have the chance to let off steam can they have the necessary concentration for school in the morning and sleep soundly at night. ”

3 concrete tips for optimal funding

So that children are happy and successful later in life, they should have a good basis to develop language, coordination and imagination. Parents should note three key points:

  • ensure a regular daily routine
  • Give children enough opportunities to play and run around
  • plan rituals like a bedtime story or an afternoon of games

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