10 Reasons to ride a dead horse: 10. Mental self-sacrifice



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"I want to get started! And I also have some ideas waiting to be processed and implemented. I always seriously try to get started with it. But then I stay idle anyway. How can you be so nailed up! I probably do not really want it ... "

10 Reasons To Ride A Dead Horse: 10. Mental self boycott 10 Reasons to ride a dead horse: 10. Mental self-boycott

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Here writes for you: Tom Diesbrock is a psychologist, consultant, team developer and book author. Profile

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The market for psycho-counselors would be much smaller ...

Overview

The market for psychological counselors would be much smaller if, after reading, every reader actually began to put into practice what he had read as far as he could find it appropriate and correct. The number of these books, which are sold every year, does not decrease. But on the contrary.

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Instead of becoming active, many people, especially when it comes to career change, prefer to buy the next guidebook or attend a seminar. What they read and listen to, they find also very right and important, but they do not change anything and stay on their dead horse.

Indefinitely or self-determined?

Overview

The strategies of avoidance, which I have presented to you so far, question the possibility and the meaning of change. The mental self-sacrifice does not.

He admits that I decide to go on the road, and I also partly believe it - maybe I'll even take the first step - but then it's over, and I'm not going any further. As if someone else would decide about my doing.

Is the inner pig dog so strong?

Overview

We may call this other our "inner bastard". And then we are often ashamed because we seem so weak and he is so strong. As if this was just a matter of willpower and mental strength.

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If we are in the impasse of the mental self-sacrifice, it often feels as if someone had pulled out the plug. The motivation and the drive go to zero. It seems as if we no longer have any energy at our disposal.

Onschieberitis instead of change

Overview

For activities with which we then gladly distract (suddenly suddenly windows must be cleaned, cars washed or desks cleared!), But there is always enough energy available.

If we follow the temptation, the voice of the bad conscience quickly announces itself, and exhorts us that we had made much more important. And so it goes in our head always back and forth, but not forward.

No step forward, but consumes a lot of energy

Overview

As if a part of me were stepping on the accelerator to accelerate me to top speed, and another my inner brake pedal because he did not want that. The consequence: I do not come from the spot, consume a lot of energy, I think stupidly, and somehow the engine is broken.

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The diagnosis: I am working on an inner conflict that leads to a mental blockade. This is a very normal psychological mechanism, which follows the principle: "If I am not one hundred percent sure of my cause, I prefer to prevent it and stick to what is proven, than to prove the new as false and harmful."

Shoemaker, stay with the groin

Overview

Or somewhat more popular formulated: "cobbler, stay with your last (if you do not have the great business plan)." The consequence is dissatisfaction and at some point only desperation.

What is crucial is how psychologically wisely we deal with our inner blockade and either solve it constructively or only solidify it ever further. In order to achieve the latter, there are two very effective tools, namely: pressure and self-criticism.

"I'm so stupid and lazy"

Overview

Even more effective: even more pressure and even more self-criticism. Probably this method is not unknown to you, because most of us use it often. If I do not work as I would-I think, I'd criticize it, and for example, impute stupidity or laziness.

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Self-accusations like "I have to be much further - others can do it" - support my self-criticism. Then I can put on the inner thumbscrews and really push myself: "Pull yourself together!" Or "You do not deserve it any other way!" But they do not really motivate either.

Anything but hot air?

Overview

Sometimes friends and friends also help us by meeting us with incomprehension and annoyance, if we simply do not do what we want and want so much. Even if they do not have this problem themselves, they can not understand why someone does not get their hooves.

Often the self- or foreign diagnosis in such cases is: "Then you probably do not really want it! Stay where you are. "So everything is hot. Only in this way will my mental self-blockade certainly not be smaller.

The spirit does not want to go in the bottle anymore

Overview

Once we realize that our job is a dead horse, our dissatisfaction will remain a constant companion. As a matter of fact, the spirit does not want to go back into his bottle once he has made it to daylight!

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Is it similar to you? Do you ever think of doing something for the new job - and do not come out of the chair? Then also tend to self-Criticism? Do you like to have a lot of pressure?

Blocked by internal conflicts and contradictions

Overview

In this tenth strategy, it becomes particularly clear how much internal conflicts and contradictions can block us. Although we have a great longing for change, we keep ourselves from going there.

Each of the ten strategies presented has such a conflict in the core, because the starting point is always our dissatisfaction, which is only "well" suppressed in the first strategy, so that it can not be perceived at all.

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  1. Katelin

    Really great site!

  2. Sabine Behner

    10 Reasons why many people persist despite very high levels of dissatisfaction in extremely adverse circumstances - a rather sad thing. All the better if someone shows that there is another way.

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