I can not do anything really good!
For many people it looks like, "Sure, many people manage to find a great, new job. Of course, if I could do it, I would do it the same way. But honestly: I can not do anything that goes beyond my current job profile. I would be laughed at if I wanted something else! "
If the negative side of you clearly prevails, you are not alone. I guess that the majority of people would have a great deal of effort to get rid of the shell for their weaknesses. For this seems to me to be much easier for most of us.
Many people find it difficult and unpleasant to think about or even talk about our own strengths. Not infrequently I hear the self-assessment: "I really can not do anything really well." And many answer so from deepest conviction and not out of modesty!
The others can do better!
At the same time, they have the abilities of other people, of friends, colleagues and acquaintances, usually a much more positive picture. When it comes to the light and dark sides of others, our judgment is usually quite balanced (unless we are very outrageous characters) - but we prefer to put our own light under the bushel.
If we judge others more proficiently than ourselves, our perception must be somewhat "crazy". Why is that? As not very young people, we have at least completed at least a vocational training, perhaps studied, much learned in the job, educated us, pursued various interests - and we have certainly gathered a lot of life experience.
I can do something!
And yet we should have hardly any competences that could be relevant to our professional reorientation? Can this really be? In coaching, I often find that people with an initially rather negative self-image can actually build a long list of their competences and strengths - if they dare to take a closer look and also to assess the assessment of others.
Many people finally realize with surprise, "I can do so much more than I thought!" So: non-proficiency is something completely different from non-knowledge (which one can)! It is easy to confuse. Why are we so little aware of our strengths? Of course, a negative self-image can have many causes.
All a matter of practice!
People who have been working in a profession for a long time, even though they have climbed a few steps on the career ladder, often think that they have only those skills that they use in their jobs, true to the motto: "I've been 20 years Banker, so I can only do what bankers can. "This then shows more of a very narrow identity than a realistic self-assessment.
Stupid is only when we mess things up. Many people describe themselves as realists, while they tell me that they can do nothing really good. A negative self-image is above all a matter of the exercise!
I'd rather make myself small before anyone else does
Why do we give ourselves so much trouble to build up a gloomy picture of our abilities and hold on to it? The price we pay for it - often an intimate relationship with a dead horse - is not exactly small.
But we never develop a behavior or an attitude without promising ourselves - mostly unconsciously - an advantage. And this is often in protecting us from attacks by others, according to the principle: "I prefer to make myself small before someone else does it."
The unrecognized high stacker?
The idea of trusting myself and believing in my abilities, and then being laughed at by others, is a nightmare for most of us! And that is very human, because we are all very afraid of devaluation and embarrassment. Only: How great is the danger that we will encounter each other as an adult human being?
That one could expose us as an "impostor" who has much less on it than he pretends? Is not this the fear and the point of view of a child? We'll see later that when fears are in the game we're often ineffective.
Professional change needs a good self-assessment
Without a good self-assessment of my competencies, professional changes are difficult to achieve.
In case of doubt, I will always decide against good options because I do not believe enough. And if I have made myself small and small for a long time, my only real choice is my dead horse.
In my work, I have met people who, despite their diploma and doctorate, remained in a job that was far below their potential - because they thought that more was simply not possible.
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