What to do against Bullying?
According to studies, the statement “Help, I am being bullied” applies to at least every 8th person in Germany. The situation has become significantly worse in recent years through social networks.
Sometimes it is enough to defend oneself simply, so that the other one notices that he can not do everything with one. The following 10 tips should be a first orientation, a kind of emergency response package. In case of doubt, however, psychological help should always be sought.
10 emergency aid tips against bullying
- Bullying Diary: Even if it's hard: Write down the location, time, incident, people involved and consequences of a bullying attack. Do a proper bullying journal. On the one hand, such a journal helps to disclose recurring conflicts and incidents and to understand the system behind them. On the other hand, it helps with any legal disputes.
- When the Mobber Retains Information: Often, bullying is that colleagues deny information to you. A good way to get to the information: Before all other questions, ask for specific information.
- Properly dealing with intriguers: Also a form of bullying: The colleague wants to profile himself at your expense before the boss and make them look old: ask him but once directly for details that he can not know. And specifically point out in your presence your boss on your own successes.
- Don't let your work go bad: Bullying is often about colleagues doing everything you do badly. Just stand full of your optimism and your commitment: "With this organization it will never work" - "Yes, it will." Or: "I have the feeling that the time is not yet ripe for it" - "Perhaps it is time to check your own feelings."
- What to do about gossip? The colleagues whisper in the corridor and are silent when you get to it? The only thing that helps is to address the gossipers directly with a good dash of self-irony: “Are you talking about me again? Can I laugh too? ”
- Dealing with frontal attacks: Bullying does not have to be underhanded, but can also be very direct: “This is again one of your completely unthinkable suggestions. You get the impression that you didn't really listen to the boss. ” Do not waste any thought on the content of the statement, just comment on the type of attack - always in the we-form: “I would like to ask you to find the tone that corresponds to our culture”, “This style is not the style we are used to here. Would you please remain factual like everyone else ”or“ It is not the level of this company to make such polemical statements ”:
- Just turn the tables: The bully usually “lives” from tacit agreement with others: Expose the perpetrator as the one who prevents productive work: “In terms of content we do not achieve any result”, “It is in the interest of everyone here, that we deal with our topics quickly ”,“ We all want an efficient meeting. We have more important issues ”or“ This way you prevent us from getting on here. ” This isolates the colleague in the group and - what is worse for him - makes him look bad in front of the boss.
- Defend yourself with gestures: Also, posture is important when it comes to verbally stopping others: Stand upright and take an open posture, keeping your arms hanging loosely. Important: Demonstrate your self-confidence. Be sure to keep eye contact!
- Avoid the wrong posture: If your body does not fit into your spells, you just unmask their own insecurity and make them even more derisive. The taboo is all the gestures that indicate insecurity or nervousness, such as uncertain scratching on the head and helpless rowing with the arms. And: When you drop your eyes, you automatically go into penitenties.
- Talk to the bully matter-of-factly: just talk to your colleague. Discussions and jointly developed solutions can therefore often help both sides. However, do not reproach yourself with “You have…”, but formulate first-person messages and clearly state how you feel, for example: “I felt attacked and hurt by their outbreak.”
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German edition: ISBN 9783965960169
English version: ISBN 9783965960176 (Translation notice)
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