From the author:
Self-denial until you drop
Using the example of a fifty-year-old lady, who built up three different companies with great pressure and yet was not happy, we realized that it is important to know yourself and your needs.
Often, however, the opposite can be observed: for the career, one's own needs are put behind the scenes. This is the next mind-killer: self-denial.
Do not be an egoist!
Often there is the conviction behind it: "I am only of some value, if all the others are well and I have to take care of it." People with this error of thinking place the vital interests of their fellow human beings above their own needs.
The bad thing about this way of thinking is that people are defending this way of thinking by all means. "What would this society be if everyone only thought of themselves and no longer of their fellow human beings?"
Think of yourself!
Do not get me wrong. Here no one is to be educated as an egomaniac and pure hedonist. It is more about developing a healthy egoism. An egoism that allows you to look out for yourself, to remain both mentally and physically healthy and not wanting to be right.
So say no if you do not want something. Ask for assistance if you need assistance. - I could continue this list page by page. In the mode of self-denial, we are afraid that something terrible could happen to us or others if we do not sacrifice ourselves.
Reasons for self-denial
We could tease and make enemies. Maybe even get unpopular or get a headwind we can not stand. There may be dozens of depth psychology reasons for self-denial. Typical reasons are:
- traumatic experiences,
- and many more.
Whatever it is, they do not do you good, because they perform bit by bit for self-abandonment.
Altruists experience little appreciation
Although people with an altruistic attitude are enormously important to a society, they are, unfortunately, far too little appreciation. I have experienced clients in my practice who were so close to your sacrificial role that they no longer knew what their needs were.
They had lived so long in the self-denial of their own desires that they had completely lost contact with themselves.
Self-knowledge promotes resilience
This is very unfortunate, because research into the topic of burn-out and resilience has meanwhile shown that people can deal particularly well with crisis situations if they know their own needs and are deliberately rewarding for success.
Personal self-efficacy therefore increases precisely when one does not deny oneself. So what can you do to avoid the self-denial self-denial and thus the self-abandonment?
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