If you do not trust, you should not be surprised
Where someone pushes around in the shadow and hopes that one perceives him and his performance, there will always be others who like to stand in the light and attract attention.
Anyone who does not dare to lock his door should not be surprised by people who come in without knocking. Just pointing your finger at the "Take the Tribe" and complaining about your own fate usually does little.
Who wants to be loved in the job has a problem
Each of us seeks and needs appreciation and love. As adults, we should be able to distinguish between the two and look for both where we have a chance to find it.
Someone who is driven in the job first and foremost by his need for recognition and praise will probably experience a lot of frustration. If you want to be loved by colleagues and bosses, you have a real problem!
Do anything to be loved?
I'm doing everything to be Everybody's Darling, once a client said. She did almost everything for the affection of her fellow human beings, in the job and also in her private life.
Their behavior, thinking and feeling followed a typical pattern which, incidentally, I experience more often in women than in men: not work contract, instructions or task profile determine the behavior, but the deep desire to win and keep the affection of all.
If there is no "no"
This is the orientation and omits everything that could endanger this. A No is hardly in the vocabulary of the Everybody's Darling.
Whether the Chef, Colleagues or customers want something from him, he leaves everything for it and lie, has always time and an open ear and can be harnessed by everyone. Your own work will be done later. Probably when everyone else is already home.
Can you just go?
With the popular question (which of course is not meant as a question) Can you just ...? anyone can interrupt him at any time and work with him. My client told me at the time that her colleagues were actually slamming tasks that were not in her area of responsibility onto the table.
Without even seriously asking if she wanted to and could take care of it. Full of indignation she told how she had paid for the shared taxi for the Christmas party (which of course she had organized) and none of the passengers had ever paid her the money.
Because it has proven itself ...
Did she claim it? "No, I can not do that. I would be considered petty. Why are you treating me like this? "
Well, maybe because it worked well?
Because remember: If I do not care for myself, probably no one else will. If I do not assert myself, others will get their way. And if I do not show myself, I'll be overlooked.
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