Hierarchical communication: The problem with delegating
Even if Guide For some it is considered obsolete: In our mostly hachachian structured working environment, tasks have yet to be organized, delegated and distributed. But some bosses have a flaw: they are narcissistic, manipulative and exploit our labor.
One should ask oneself, which psychological mechanisms become effective here.
- What exactly does it mean to let others work for themselves?
- How are people convinced to do things they really do not want to do?
- How exactly do they actually ask us to demand more than we are ready to give?
- How do you do that?
Time-eater of flesh and blood
Some time ago, I wrote about digital adversaries who eat our time because they suggest we have things to do urgently. In any case, it is almost a vogue to complain about the Internet as a time-eater.
What is often forgotten: Whether it's the Internet or not, the real time-wasters are those of flesh and blood who want to force us with all sorts of tricks to pay attention to them. And sometimes very communicatively. Some examples:
1. Always this busyie
The boss, who asks hectically and in a loud voice for the completion of a favor, uses such manipulative means to make you do something for him. For some things only appear urgent, because the other wants them to appear important, so that you give absolute priority to his desire.
Another method is to persuade coworkers with flattery to do their superiors a favor: "You know so well - would you help me to research this information?" Because many people are particularly pleased when they consider irreplaceable Of course, they are happy to help.
2. Hidden threats and other nasties
But even hidden threats are part of the repertoire of such "manipulators" who know exactly where they can hit. Statements such as "Give yourself a little more effort!" Or "You have me deeply disappointed!" Hit like a fist on the eye, because it is not only the factual statement ("you have made a mistake.") Transports, but them is linked to a score.
Because if you do not respond to this criticism, the other you, according to his implicit message, automatically believes you are lazy, immoral or a bad person. Sometimes criticism and demands are also packed into taunts and little nasties in order to give them special emphasis. "Your behavior is not normal", "You are the first to have a problem with my request" or "Usually you do it differently".
3. Implicit allegations
The tip is in such inconspicuous words as "natural", "normal" or "man", as in the statement "One can hardly believe that!". What is more important, however, is what remains unsaid, namely the colleague's implicit opinion: "It is not just me that believes it, but the majority - and whoever does not share the view is somehow funny and wrong."
Especially people whose perfectionist endeavor anyway is to avoid inconvenience at any cost, this implicit charge is harsh. Therefore, the temptation is great to bow to the alleged majority opinion, because who would like to be regarded as a nerd. Often, however, the social consensus is on rather shaky legs and it only takes a bit of courage to refute the statement quite dry.
4. Moral blackmail
There are other, naughty methods: the moral extortion. You try to persuade you to something, because it is supposed to be Usus. For example, a boss who says, "Please drop your report today - everyone else has done that!" Leaves no chance to say no. Because you do not want to be the only one who dances out of line.
This works well to reinforce criticism: "Find all that you are not up to this task" - This statement draws an alleged social consensus approach: The majority is always right - and who are you that you have this opinion in question could ask? You can! Do not let yourself be forced and simply return the indirect reproach to the sender:
- "Give yourself a little more effort." - Possible answer: "Give yourself a little more effort to support me."
- "Do it for my sake." - Possible answer: "For your sake, do not comply with your request."
- "You probably do not trust me." - Possible answer: "Trust is good, control is better."
- "You have no right to do that!" - Possible answer: "Some rights have to be taken, otherwise you will not have them."
- "You have me very disappointed!" - Possible answer: "I'm afraid I was below your expectations."
If you pay a high salary, you can expect a lot from your employees. But surprisingly, it is often the other way round: the lower the salary, the higher the "utilization factor". So other factors have to take effect.
5. The trick with irreplaceability
Another method is to persuade employees with flattery to do more than they should. "You know so well - would you help me to research this information?" Since many people are particularly pleased when they consider them irreplaceable, they are naturally happy to help.
What Helps: Do not make someone else's personal problem your own when asked for something. Give at most some advice on self-help: "I have just read on this subject recently a very interesting book - that would certainly be something for you!"
6. Manipulation by questioning techniques
A clever method of manipulation, which seldom misses its subtle effect and puts many people under pressure and takes them by surprise - and you're already working overtime instead of early after work.
Leading questions are those in which the questioner himself gives the answer and thus wants to convince you of the justification of his statement. "Are not you of that opinion too?" What helps: Just brave with "No" answer.
In a very similar direction are decision-making questions - these too are intended to make people who feel overwhelmed quickly helpless. For such decision-making questions, the decision whether you want to fulfill a request has already been taken from you: "We have scheduled a meeting of the working group for tomorrow. Do you want to talk about your project? "And you can beat the night with extra work around your ears.
If you only answer the question now, you have already accepted the claim. What helps: First, to respond to the statement, then answer the question: "I have no time tomorrow. But if we hold the meeting the day after tomorrow, I would like to talk about my project! "
Stop manipulation: what to do?
Of course it is not a solution to go into direct confrontation with the manipulative boss - at least if the job is nice to you. You will probably have to compromise, because the boss is ultimately on the longer lever. However, those who are aware of the manipulation techniques may be able to prevent one or the other case.
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