From the author:
The boss is in demand
When the boss comes to the office in the morning, he immediately notices: The climate is icy - and that's not the cold season. His co-workers are sitting motionless on their computers. Except for a grumpy "morning" nobody says anything. "Phew, here is probably again thick air.
Well, they should sort it out ", thinks the boss and quickly closes his office door behind him. This is how many executives behave: They consciously avoid conflicts - and thus waste enormous development potential. What is needed in such cases are the four conflict-clarification competencies: self-reflection, empathy, impulse control, and the ability for meta-communication.
Competence 1: Self-Reflection - Who am I?
When you lead people, you should be able to reflect on your own thinking, acting and feeling. That's the only way you can understand why you are behaving the way you behave, and what feelings that are likely to trigger others.
Through our capacity for self-reflection, we have the opportunity to imaginatively set aside and question the way we analyze and evaluate how we behave in certain situations. Only when we consider how we see ourselves and others, can we recognize the underlying causes and potentials of conflict.
Competence 2: Empathy - How are the others?
Knowing your own inner attitude is the prerequisite for empathizing with other people. To do this, executives need empathy - the ability to perceive, understand, and respond appropriately to each other's sensations, thoughts, motives, and individual personality traits.
When leaders in conflict situations try to really understand others ("what exactly is the problem and how can we solve it?") And not in their own emotions, approaches, or beliefs ("why are they going to do that?" ), then many conflicts can be nipped in the bud.
Competence 3: Impulse Control - How do I want to act?
"Our behavior is based on our decisions, not on the given conditions." With this statement, management thinker Stephen R. Covey put it in a nutshell: We are not at the mercy of our inner impulses.
Although habits of life and behavior patterns are codified in our cognitive networks, they can be changed in learning and practice processes. Proactivity is the magic word here. Proactive executives focus on their sphere of influence. They take the initiative, question moods. So they improve processes, instead of giving in to their impulses and passively subjecting themselves to the circumstances.
Competence 4: Metacommunication - What should we talk about?
Metacommunication is the "communication about communication and cooperation". Conflicts rarely focus on content-related issues, but more often on how they collaborate. As a leader, it is your job to conduct and moderate conflict talks.
An aggressive approach to conflict leads to clarity in structures and tasks. The cooperation is more effective and the motivation in the Team is sustainably increased. Last but not least, relationships between executives and employees are developing positively, because everyone can trust that even difficult things can be discussed and resolved in the end.
Conclusion: You can learn to handle conflicts properly
Conflicts are important. They get things moving and, at best, people talk to each other again.
The ability to successfully manage conflicts as a leader is a long process that is not completed overnight. Take the chance to optimize your conflict-clarification skills every day. The book "Clarifying conflicts is a matter for the boss" helps you with this.
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