From the author:
Of the sense and nonsense of self-adulation
If you want to continue up the career ladder, you have to protect yourself "down", always defend your position and watch that he always presents himself in the best way to the "Number 1" - regardless of any losses. Often enough, the boy prodigy or the superwoman in the round does not brag about their own ideas, but with those who were previously voiced in the meeting, just not addressed to the decision maker, but were communicated in the round connection-preserving.
The latter is typical of highly sensitive people - whether women or men. Highly sensitive people often find their way through the typical cockfighting fight of the business world only gradually. Without realizing that they have particular challenges and strengths, many fine tuners take a long time to understand how the masculine type of communication works - namely, order-oriented. Knowing this difference in communication behavior is worth the price of gold and marks the first step on a wonderful journey towards a delicate handling of meeting situations.
Highly sensitive targeted communication in meetings
Highly sensitive people communicate differently and that's a good thing. Because they can use their skills to lead the group to the goal. And regardless of where they are in the ranking. They get to know what is said between the lines, feel the moods in the room and it is not hidden to them, if someone is lying, something is beautiful or the show is more important than the result. For highly sensitive job starters or those who are not aware of their highly sensitive strengths, this differentiated perception can be disturbing and lead to withdrawal.
Or an offensive, which is not welcome: Young, fair-minded people are trying to bring their values into play by openly addressing grievances. Usually, they quickly get to know that this is not desired. To expose others and to put a finger on the wound is rarely a job that brings much recognition.
Rock in the surf
But it is also different. Highly sensitive people can learn to lead important and crucial meetings and lead them to the goal - not by self-presentation or too much openness but by questions.
One who does the same thing says: "What I get back from the meetings makes me very happy, I'm called the" Rock of Surf "and from the point of view of the participants I'm very calm because I'm taking the excitement out. It's a great way to get results quickly, and in meetings, with my heightened awareness, I can consciously focus on what's not said and so be able to steer solutions - a role that I'm keen to take today. "
The "wise" consultants
Meetings say a lot about the culture of communication that prevails in our society. But it also shows something else: Especially highly sensitive men cultivate other communication patterns than those of the male mainstream. They are not part of the daily struggle for rank among peacocks, all proudly flaunting their bikes and not realizing that with so much pompous show, there is little time and energy left for the really important topics. Between all the "hard" scrambling and the shaking of the head on the "tender", there is good news: those who are aware of their sensitive strengths have what it takes to be partially in the lead and to represent the company's goals, and for the benefit of all and without anyone having to fight him.
In that sense, we could actually choose the image of the "wise adviser" to describe what highly sensitive people in the economy and society can afford. And no, this picture is not meant to degrade other people. Rather, it's about recognizing that it's good and right, not all people are the same, and it makes perfect sense to use different skills rather than tackle them. Sooner or later, even the most sensitive people have to admit that it is convenient to use them in some places Company and society people easily elbow out and pragmatically take the lead. Because it takes the whole variety of skills to find really good solutions.
Small talk with draft
Whether it is a canteen, a company party, a campus or a network event, anyone who is highly sensitive has started to find out why the others have been able to talk about superficial things from their point of view. While the highly sensitive group is still thinking about what it wants to contribute to the current conversation, the others have long since moved on to the next topic. For many HSPs, Small Talk is a letter with seven seals.
And yet they can be reconciled with the small talk. Instead of looking at it as a waste of time, dealing with and avoiding small talk situations, profound multipliers and end-users can simply accept that they have profound needs because of their constitution in conversations. If you stand up against something like a stubborn ox, you remain passive, so you may find the way to get involved with others and bring in your own way.
Because even in the small talk it is possible to take the tax into the hands and actively to cut themes, which are not quite so superficial. When high sensibility moves out of the pressure position and enters into the active role, they can also show others that it is not dangerous to go deep, but can be very enriching.
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