How the attribution style works
In the example from above one thinks: "I can never please anyone. I'm always doing everything wrong and will be fine with everyone Chef get my problems and can not do many other things. "
While another says, "My boss is an idiot. He does not know what he wants. It will be different with another boss. And maybe in the future, I'll be able to ask more exactly what he really wants. "
Am I to blame or the situation?
The first person maintains a so-called stable, international, global attribution: she thinks the reason for the misfortune lies in her (internal), is permanent (stable) and general, therefore also works with other people and in other contexts (globally) ,
The second person, on the other hand, attributes unstable and external: She believes that the reasons are external (in the circumstances), that they are only temporary and could be quite different next time (unstable). One and the same event is interpreted differently by different people.
So you think motivationally
The second version is more healthy. Those who are stable, internal and globally attitudes, are more likely to slip into the learned helplessness - and into the depression.
For the learned helplessness is considered a common way to depression. And of course also in the inertia: No one is motivated, who feels helpless.
Learning for everyday life
We can learn from this on both sides. If we want to motivate others, for example at work, in the family, at school or in the tennis club: then we should take care that the others do not get the impression "What I do, does not count anyway."
We do not want to do this by arbitrarily and unpredictably, today and tomorrow we want that, and we can not listen to anything or anyone.
Change your own attribution style
On the other hand, we can of course also prevent the learned helplessness ourselves: Check your attribution style regularly.
Be more aware of the fact that misfortunes can also be due to others, can be temporary - and that you might have a different situation the next time.
And if someone can not say clearly what he really wants, then ask for it until he learns it.
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