Biggest ass of them all: yourself!
When I was lying at the thermal pool some time ago on the occasion of our wedding day, totally relaxed with Jana, the best wife of all, and - of course - going through this text in my mind, I asked her: »Tell me, you've been standing in it long enough Job. Do you remember incidents where a supervisor made it completely impossible for his employees? ”She replied:“ Well, the biggest asshole in our bank was you back then ... ”
I was shocked. Because of course I had already forgotten this part of my past. She refreshed my memory: “Do you still remember Helmut? Back then you threatened him: 'If you don't finish these papers over the weekend, you can march straight into the HR department on Monday morning and collect your resignation!' I then had it on my neck. Not because that was my thing, but because your assistant didn't feel like it anymore and simply dumped the whole mess on my desk at night and in the fog. And at that time I didn't have anyone in the department who could have done this additional task for me. At that time we were still by you. At that time you were our board member. I could have strangled you anyway! ”Fortunately, she didn't, but instead married me.
Give that ass a chance!
Even if you can hardly believe it: Even a weak boss is capable of learning. Give him a chance to learn! Coachees often ask me: "How many chances do I have to give him?" The theoretical answer is: until he gets it and does it better. The practical is: After a maximum of twenty attempts in the same thing, one can give up the chief education and him. Then you are at least certain: he / she cannot be saved. It's a lot easier when you can give up the illusion with a clear conscience that things will ever get better with that ass ... The comforting truth is: we are all asses. Anytime, anywhere. Some of us are there for the rest of our lives. Others manage to take off. Saul was also a huge ass before lightning hit him and he became Paul. So there is still hope. Even for the greatest ...
How do you stand that? Do you have a boss? Everyone has a boss! Does he get on your nerves? Is he driving you crazy? Occasionally? Often? Permanent? You not alone! Millions of people like you are doing it: bosses are annoying. And if it's not the boss, then it's the unfriendly colleagues, the crusted hierarchy, the excessive bureaucracy in the company, the galloping time pressure and performance stress, the unbearable working conditions or stupid customers.
There are great bosses - but ...
In order to avoid a misunderstanding at the beginning: there are impeccable, outstanding, excellent bosses! We all know or have had some of them. We're not talking about them here. You are not the problem. The problem is the asshole boss and his female counterpart. Many people believe that only the little clerk or the pack slave in the online retail warehouse suffered from mean, mean bosses. That's not true. It's much worse: it hits everyone. From the shelf filler to the project manager, the department, division and division manager up to the director and the board of directors. The other day, for example, the division manager of a toolmaker told me: “Our CFO is a huge ass. He generally sits out investment applications over 1.000 euros for six weeks.
But if a project finishes three days late because of a refusal to make a decision, who is to blame? Not the fat ass, but me! ”The division manager has had it on his stomach for months. No wonder! Bad bosses are harmful to health. They come right after alcohol and drugs. You only have to look at the current figures on burnout and stress-related illnesses: astronomical! The fact is that no one is spared from bad bosses, aggressive colleagues, stupid customers, hierarchy reprisals, pressure to perform, madness in bureaucracy or bad working conditions in the long term during their working life. Most people accept that: "That's the job!" Or as a board member with a seven-figure salary says: "Half of my remuneration is not a salary, but compensation for pain and suffering for having to deal with the low-flying supervisory board members." Further down the hierarchy, people say it more directly: “Our boss is an ass. Everyone knows. Nothing to do. "
Sheep that don't fight back
Many think so. And that's exactly what makes the stupid boss happy: He loves nothing more than sheep that don't fight back, but at most bleat softly every now and then. Because you can't change anything anyway, thinks the sheep. And that's good. Because I am giving away a secret here. Don't be a sheep. You are human. And as long as it is you, as long as you or I remind you, you can do something. You can change the boss! That's why we're here. That's the Sense of this text. What you have in front of you is actually not a guidebook text, but rather the "How-to-change-my-boss" instructions, your liberation, your release from unreasonable or simply stressful, annoying and annoying circumstances.
In order for your boss to finally change, you don't even have to rush a Russian killer squad on his neck or slit open the low-profile tires of his thick company car in the company parking lot. Revenge is not a (good) solution. The best solutions for annoying bosses and other disruptive factors are non-violent, simple, noiseless and fast. The best thing about these anti-asshole strategies: There are tons of them, they're simple and quick to work. Even in your immediate vicinity you will find colleagues who get along better or even well with the asshole boss, the problem customer or the bully colleague - without crawling in behind them. How do they do it?
The best anti-asshole strategies
For example, there is Ursula. She's thirty-six and a team secretary in an office full of big-headed architects who keep her rotating for ten hours a day. Ursula has a nice husband and a cute daughter who sends her mother a picture on her mobile phone at 17:15 p.m. on her seventh birthday. Then she proudly blows out the seven small candles on her cake with full chubby cheeks in front of the assembled crowd of invited children, relatives and family members. Under the picture she typed: "Mommy, where are you?" In the office, of course. Yet again. Still. Because your stupid team of big-headed architects surprisingly gave in very urgent tasks that of course have to be done, "ASAP!" When Ursel reads her little daughter's message, she bursts into tears (you'd have to be a rock not to do it) and curses at her fucking bosses.
Again. As so often before. Like for years. Bad dead end where Ursula is. Until her daughter's seventh birthday. And such a day of liberation will come for you too. When the next architect bursts in with an equally urgent task, of course, she doesn't say, "Fuck me, asshole!" That's what she thinks. Which is progress. Because so far in the fifteen years of her professional life she has thought: “You Tarzan, me Jane. As a little secretary, I can't do anything against five well-educated, porky and super important architects. We also need the job to finally get out of the small apartment! "Today she says to the time-forgotten and apparently family-hostile colleague of the architects:" Of course I like to do that - but not now. Now I'm going home to my daughter, who is celebrating her seventh birthday this afternoon. "
The quiet suffering in the office
And the architect, who was just insolently demanding, says: “Oh, I didn't know that! Why didn't you say that at three? Things are not that urgent. ”Simple solution. Doesn't always work, but it's much better than doing the sheep and not saying anything. Afterwards Ursula is amazed: “That was easy! Why haven't I done that before? ”Because most of us need gentle nudges - New High German: nudges - to strip off the sheep's wool. That's why we're here: The following pages are full of gentle nudges and a few rough nudges. So that you can finally get going. So that suffering comes to an end. Far too many are suffering now. They suffer quietly and do their work. Years and decades.
In the hope that maybe a better boss will come soon, that the damned bureaucracy in the company will be curbed, that the bully will find another victim in the office next door or that a falling piano will kill him on his way to work. It can all happen! But rarely. Much more often, if you continue to suffer quietly, you will ruin your health, your job satisfaction will decline rapidly, and your family and personal life will go to pieces. Those who do not defend themselves live wrong. You can change your boss - and any other ricochet. There are dozens of faster, easier and more harmonious solutions for this.
By the way, if you think this text disses bosses and bosses (who are always addressed equally): No! Several executives read it before it was published. Some thanked them: "I have a boss myself who I have to get a grip on." Others said: "I've caught myself thinking a dozen times: Man, that's how I am sometimes! I have to turn it off - who wants to be an asshole! "
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