Feedback moves people
"If you want to pass on something, it would be through three sieves first: the first one lets only the true, the second leaves only the good, and the third leaves only the bare essentials. You may pass on what went through all three sieves. "Socrates (Greek philosopher, * 499 v. Chr. † 399 v. Chr.)
Spider-Man, aka Peter Parker, is making his way as a hero (in the 2002 movie directed by S. Raimi) because he believes that his uncle Ben and his aunt May are doing great things for him. He is at the beginning of the story, an inconspicuous little fellow, bebrillt and quite tapsig. Only great ideas and the unfortunate infatuation with the neighbor's daughter supposedly differentiate him from other guys ... and the unflinching conviction of his uncle and his aunt, who is aware of the young future hero and who expresses himself in feedbacks! His uncle sometimes reminds him, "With great power comes great responsibility." How fitting.
The self-fulfilling prophecy
Of course, this is a naive comic story and, of course, almost all parents or relatives think so of their children. And yet here is hidden a grain of truth, as in all typical storyplots. Surely, you remember yourself, with accurate circling of your memory contents, feedbacks with positive or negative content that have moved you for years.
Everyone knows the phenomenon of self-fulfilling prophecy: someone gives you information about a person you do not know yet. This information is fictitious (for example in the context of a scientific experiment), which of course you do not know. The person will most likely begin to behave as if your information were true. For example, if you provide teachers with randomly assigned information about the performance of students from a new class, then the performance of the children will change accordingly, as a classic study shows.
The feedback makes the setting
Here only move the attitudes that the teachers have of the children. How much more powerful is the context when these assessments are expressed, for example, in the context of feedback! The sense of responsibility that Ben Parker tries to convey to his nephew Spider-Man is also a good idea.
During training sessions or seminars, we regularly experience that participants suddenly entrust us with feedback that somebody has given them sometime and that has been haunting them for many years. "My boss said I was not emotional enough!" (What is emotional enough, please ???), "I failed the assessment center because I'm not capable of conflict!", "The hiring manager says I can not lead! "- these are just very harmless everyday examples that professionals try to digest or understand for years in the design of their work environment or their career.
Positive feedback also helps
This is also true of positive feedback: I recently received a phone call from a manager who told me that one of the people I worked with was very thoughtful because she was confused about my positive assessment of her communicative skills.
The half Company For years I had been trying unsuccessfully to make that point clear - my feedbacks were obvious (and coincidental) hits. And what about the employee who is simply overwhelmed and unhappy in his current role, and who persuades a coach that this is not true? The company sees him completely wrong?
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