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Self-Coaching Self-help & Self-Love - 3 / 3: Speak Strong!



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We are what we are saying. Whether we reap success, sympathy and happiness in life depends not so much on our appearance, our intellect, our circumstances and other people, but on how we talk to ourselves, how we lead our inner dialogue. And a direct comparative overview shows: There are big differences! And this broadens the horizon enormously.

Self-Coaching Self-help & Self-Love - 3 / 3: Speak Strong!


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Dr. Cornelia TopfDr. Cornelia Topf is a certified Businesscoach & International Management Trainer.

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The inner dialogue!

Actually, the inner dialogue is also quite logical: apart from our thoughts, there is no other influence in life - except air and cosmic radiation - to which we are exposed 24 hours a day.

And it is clear that perseverance is the most important success factor. Honestly!

What do you think of yourself?

Listen to yourself if you are hard or fail. What are you talking about? "That's how I am. I have never been good with numbers. I'm just an old shot. "What's that about you?

If I formulate my bad qualities as immutable, as so-called traits, fixed character traits, then this is poison for the Inner Dialogue:

Away from Traits, go to States!

Instead of saying, "I'm always a bit sloppy, and I'm afraid I'm going to push myself through," say things like, "I'm sometimes a bit undisciplined, too anxious in certain situations, and I could work on my enforcement."

Diesel three terms, but expressed "liquefied". Conversely, of course with the positive features. You should express it in such a way that the characteristic becomes a fixed fact. In the technical yargon, this means: Transfer traits, that is, characteristics, into states.

For emergency situations there are emergency emergency aid:

Frustration Talk

Change Talk

"That's a problem!"

"This is a task! "

"They do not like me! "

"I will win you for me! "

"I have to …!"

"I will ... "," I decide for it, "" I will ... "

"I've never done that!"

"I find out how this works. "

"I can not do that."

"I'll try that out. "

"What if I fail? "

"What happens in the worst case? I'll put it away! "

"Those idiots! "

"What is my problem? "

"He never gets it! "

"What can I do to make him understand? "

"This is not good enough! "

"It's not perfect - but good enough! "

"But what if they do not like me? "

"They may be a little sour. It's worth it. I am worth it! "

"I do not care any more at all! "

"How do I gain his attention? "

"What the fuck? I do not understand you!"

"What is she doing? What interest could be behind it? "

"Again a setback! I can not do this!"

"I can not wait to see you again. "

"There are simply no good men left! "

"Where can I find one? As? What defines him? "Or better:" What could a man do for me, which I can not do myself (better) for myself? "

Rethoric Zen - but please pay attention to the right things!

Transforming the usual frustration-talc into the unusual change-talk (see above) is a simple, but not an easy exercise. It is a kind of rhetorical Zen: an everyday exercise for life. It needs our mindfulness - it makes people feel good, as long as they pay attention to the right things.

This works so well for most people that in the past I often wondered what the difference is in terms of the inner dialogue between successful and less successful, between happy and less happy people. It is the persistence.

Because you are worth it!

Another tip: Formulate problems, obstacles and risks always in such a way that their potential for change becomes clear in the sense of: This is true, but it can be changed (Traits - States)

Once you have chosen certain Self-Supporting Sentences, you are also against all external temptations and temptations! Because you are worth it.

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