The inner dialogue!
Actually, the inner dialogue is also quite logical: apart from our thoughts, there is no other influence in life - except air and cosmic radiation - to which we are exposed 24 hours a day.
And it is clear that perseverance is the most important success factor. Honestly!
What do you think of yourself?
Listen, if you are hard or fail. What are you telling yourself? "That's how I am. I've never been good with numbers. I'm just an old waffle. "What's up with you?
If I formulate my bad qualities as immutable, as so-called traits, fixed character traits, then this is poison for the Inner Dialogue:
Away from Traits, go to States!
Instead of saying, "I'm always a bit sloppy and afraid to push through," you say things like, "I'm sometimes a bit undisciplined, too anxious in certain situations and could work on my assertiveness."
The same three facts, but expressed "liquefied". Conversely, of course, with the positive features. They should be expressed in such a way that the characteristic becomes a fixed fact. In technical jargon, this means: transfer traits, ie characteristics, in states: states.
For emergency situations there are emergency emergency aid:
|"That's a problem!"||"That's a job!"|
|"They do not like me!"||"I will win you for me!"|
|"I must…!"||"I'm going to ...!", "I'm choosing ...", "I want ..."|
|"I've never done that!"||"I'll find out how it works first."|
|"I can not do that."||"I'll try that out."|
|"What if I fail?"||"What happens in the worst case? I'll put that away! "|
|"These idiots!"||"What is my problem share?"|
|"He'll never get it!"||"What can I do to help him understand?"|
|"That's not good enough!"||"It's not perfect - but good enough!"|
|"But what if they do not like me anymore?"||"They may be a little sour. It's worth it to me. I'm worth it! "|
|"I'm not interested in him anymore!"||"How do I gain his attention?"|
|"What the fuck? I do not understand you!"||"What is she doing for that? What interest could be behind it? "|
|"Again a setback! I can not do this!"|
"I pick myself up, I'm dust myself off - I'm starting all over again!"
|"There are no good men anymore!"||"Where can I find one? As? What defines him? "Or rather:" What could a man do for me that I can not (better) do for myself? "|
Rethoric Zen - but please pay attention to the right things!
Transforming the usual frustration-talc into the unusual change-talk (see above) is a simple, but not an easy exercise. It is a kind of rhetorical Zen: an everyday exercise for life. It needs our mindfulness - it makes people feel good, as long as they pay attention to the right things.
This works so well for most people that in the past I often wondered what the difference is in terms of the inner dialogue between successful and less successful, between happy and less happy people. It is the persistence.
Because you are worth it!
A final tip: Formulate problems, obstacles and risks always in such a way that their potential for change becomes clear in the sense of: This is true, but it can be changed (Traits - States)
Once you have chosen certain Self-Supporting Sentences, you are also against all external temptations and temptations! Because you are worth it.
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