The inner dialogue!
Actually, the inner dialogue is also quite logical: apart from our thoughts, there is no other influence in life - except air and cosmic radiation - to which we are exposed 24 hours a day.
And it is clear that perseverance is the most important success factor. Honestly!
What do you think of yourself?
Listen to yourself if you struggle or fail. What are you telling yourself? "That's how I am. I've never been good at numbers. I'm just an old boy. ” What is it with you
If I formulate my bad qualities as immutable, as so-called traits, fixed character traits, then this is poison for the Inner Dialogue:
Away from Traits, go to States!
Instead of saying: "I've always been sloppy and afraid to assert myself," say things like, "I'm sometimes a little undisciplined, too anxious in certain situations, and could work a little on my assertiveness."
The same three facts, but expressed "liquefied". Conversely, of course, with the positive characteristics. You should express it in such a way that the characteristic becomes a fixed fact. In technical jargon this means: convert traits, i.e. characteristics, into states: states.
For emergency situations there are emergency emergency aid:
|"That's a problem!"||"It is a task!"|
|"They don't like me!"||"I will win you over for me!"|
|"I must…!"||"I will ...!", "I choose it ...", "I want ..."|
|"I've never done that!"||"First I find out how it works."|
|"I can not do that."||"I'll give it a try."|
|"What if I fail?"||“What happens in the worst case? I'll put it away! ”|
|"These idiots!"||"What is my share of the problem?"|
|"He never gets it!"||"What can I do to make him understand?"|
|"It is not good enough!"||"It is not perfect - but good enough!"|
|"But what if they don't like me anymore?"||“They can be a little bit sour. It's worth it to me. I'm worth it! ”|
|"I don't care about him anymore!"||"How do I get his attention?"|
|"What the fuck? I do not understand you!"||“What is she doing this for? What could be the interest? ”|
|“Another setback! I can not do this!"|
"I pick myself up, I dust myself off - I'm starting all over again!"
|"There are simply no good men anymore!"||“Where can I find one? How? What defines him? ” Or better: “What could a man do for me that I can't (better) do for myself?”|
Rethoric Zen - but please pay attention to the right things!
Transforming the usual frustration-talc into the unusual change-talk (see above) is a simple, but not an easy exercise. It is a kind of rhetorical Zen: an everyday exercise for life. It needs our mindfulness - it makes people feel good, as long as they pay attention to the right things.
This works so well for most people that in the past I often wondered what the difference is in terms of the inner dialogue between successful and less successful, between happy and less happy people. It is the persistence.
Because you are worth it!
A final tip: Formulate problems, obstacles and risks always in such a way that their potential for change becomes clear in the sense of: This is true, but it can be changed (Traits - States)
Once you have chosen certain Self-Supporting Sentences, you are also against all external temptations and temptations! Because you are worth it.
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