From the author:
When partners become opponents
The negotiating partners are increasingly becoming negotiating opponents. The once so beautiful memory of the holidays faded and from a dream vacation is very quickly a horrortrip.
You realize, not a good starting point to plan the next vacation trip. Not even to set a goal, because every year, the question arises: sea or mountains?
The result is usually a solution which is not really good for either party. They know this under the name compromise. But this is just the surname, the compromise also has a first name: Lazy. So the whole name is: Faulk compromise.
And that is what is closed annually on holiday trips and daily in German companies. A lazy compromise. Driven by the panicky search for "win-win solutions", countless lame compromises are made every day.
When dealing with other people, our first name makes us more personal. And also the lazy compromise makes his first name more personal, brings him closer to us. And shows his true face. He is not good. Is not suitable for consumption, spoils us for a long time the stomach and pushes even after years still bitter.
Better: agree on consensus
So what is to be done. Do not make lazy compromises anymore, but agree on a consensus. The difference? If you compromise, you might drive a week to the sea and a week to the mountains. Nobody had what he really wanted. You were together with your partner for two weeks, but you spent a week in a place you did not want to be.
Where you have searched, found and noted everything you do not like and what you think is really stupid. And that's exactly what your partner has done for you where you wanted to be. Big cinema. So they were two weeks in constant stress, apart from a few moments. Maybe the trip home was nice. Right?
"Win-win" - pure hypocrisy
So what can you do? First of all, say goodbye to "win-win". Of this hypocritical coat in which the lazy compromise so often comes along. Rest together all available options. This also includes you two weeks by the sea. Your partner two weeks in the mountains.
Then put all the facts together, for all possibilities. Also take risks and opportunities of all options into consideration. And now let it be first, for at least one night.
Decide with a clear head!
After this break you decide. Together. With distance and clear head. What has too big risks, sort out. Face the fact. They are still there today because their ancestors were cowards.
Just like mine and those of all other people. The brave and fearless were eaten before. So decide on safety - our ancestors have already done so.
Like in the cockpit
Look with your partner like a cockpit crew on the plane. Both pilots have the same rights and duties, and their job is to safely land aircraft (passengers) and passengers (children and dog). In case of emergency also at another airport. Heroes have nothing to look for in the cockpit.
Incidentally, this approach also helps you in negotiations with yours Chef, Colleagues, customers, suppliers. Controlling an airplane is teamwork - and there are no lazy compromises. Or have you ever experienced that first two hours in one direction and then two hours in the other direction was flown just because the pilots could not agree on a common goal?
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