Never forget that feelings are in the game!
I would like to start this text with a very fitting quote from Dale Carnegie. This is: "When dealing with people, we must never forget that we are not dealing with logical beings, but with beings full of feelings, prejudices, pride and vanity."
The illusion of the easily computable human being
Even today, many feel that their ability to behave in an unrestrictedly rational way is desirable, because it is pretended that humans are relatively easy to calculate.
Unrestricted rational behavior is the main feature of the Homo oeconomicus, which was presented to generations of economics students as an ideal.
Homo oeconomicus - just a product of economic theory?
Its decisions can be represented as maximizing a utility function.
He therefore represents an exclusively "economically" thinking person who underlies the analyzes of classical and neoclassical economic theory.
Deciding is not rational!
However, brain research has shown that decisions are never made rationally.
Not least, they are at the center of scientific and economic attention at a breathtaking pace.
Gray in gray and pink
And we can all watch it on ourselves: In a dull mood, for example, the world looks "gray in gray". If we are in love, we have the pink glasses on.
Depending on the emotional situation, we perceive objective situations differently, they "feel" differently. The same is then no longer the same.
Neither good nor bad, neither reprehensible nor counterproductive, but deeply human. However, it makes many situations more complex, they are harder to capture and control.
some do not even understand ("Why is he upset now because of a trivial thing?") and steer not at all (violent anger or tears outbreak).
Marketing: Customers choose the emotional quality
Marketing and sales experts have long since taken advantage of this. Customers increasingly choose the shops, business partners, products, salespeople or consultants for their emotional quality.
Feel-good factors, trust, safety, pleasure in buying and using have gained enormously in importance. The customer wants and must have a good feeling at the conclusion (not only, but also).
If I had heard on the belly!
How often do you hear about wrong decisions. "If I had listened to my intuition. I immediately had a bad feeling. "
We must, of course, have to learn all this for a long time and laboriously: German, World Champion of effectiveness, efficiency, engineering, and the virtues discipline, punctuality, and diligence:
Emotional is not unsuitable
Emotionality does not mean unobjectity. That the dilemma: "rational or emotional" does not exist. "Both as well" is right here. Both are always simultaneous, albeit in different proportions.
Then, on a distant day, our negotiating partners, with no more unsuccessful than us, like Scandinavians or Chinese, will no longer experience cold, unpleasant, and small-time unsuitable contemporaries.
The overwhelming Impuls of emotions is terrifying
"If I'm attacked, I have to defend myself" - this statement is exemplary for our view of our handling of emotions: an almost obsessive automatic process, resulting inevitable reactions.
It is the overwhelming, often destructive, but also positive impulse that frightens some emotions and makes them appear as the opposite pole to reason. And that actually quickly looks unprofessional. If a person regularly shows more than just lukewarm emotions, he is quickly put in a drawer from which it is difficult to escape.
Feeling as a career-out?
"Oh the Huber, who reacts like many women fast as a mimosa." Or: "Yes, yes, the Schulze, with his compassion. He makes every mosquito an elephant. "
Thus, the demonstration of feelings is quickly used as a legitimation in order not to deal seriously with its concern or as a tactical instrument for maneuvering it into isolation.
Feel better under control?
That is why we often do better to hide emotions, if not very emphatically.
If you do not have your feelings under control, you quickly assume that you do not have other things under control: your time management, your budget, your employees ....
Use emotions consciously
Despite all this, emotions play such an enormously important role in our lives, in our decisions, for our behavior that we should pay more attention to them in business.
To deal with emotions consciously instead of being overwhelmed or manipulated by them or displacing them. Appropriately recognize, appreciate, show and use emotions. That is the goal!
Emotions to communicate them?
First of all, this involves experiencing and describing emotions at all. Some people are already having a hard time doing this. You may feel something, but you can not describe what exactly that is.
Result: In order to communicate the emotion, it must be lived out. It is roared, cried, (in the wrong place) laughed loudly ...
Describe instead of snooping
And that usually acts brusque, shocking, uncontrolled. Not the emotion as such, but the way it is expressed.
Better to perceive and describe what is happening there. Feelings are fractions of a second faster than thoughts. Heart and brain are thus active almost simultaneously.
What happens in the brain?
When emotions form, the brain coordinates two things:
- fast, automatic, impulsive processes
- slow, but open, reflexive processes
In the normal case, human emotions do not simply mean the rule of automatic impulses, but a combination of pre-determined affective tendencies and thoughtful-sensitive openness.
Emotions as suggestions to the mind
Everyday emotions do not force people, they make suggestions. So, let your mind take a little time to realize what is going on and describe it. Then you can say quite relaxed:
- "I find that very annoying"
- "That drives my anger into my face."
- "That makes me sad" "
- "That disappoints me".
- "That brings tears to my eyes."
- "That's absolutely ridiculous"
- "I find that very pleasing."
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