Emotional Killer Phrases in Communication: The Top 10 Killer Phrases



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Reprint: This text is from the book "Der Abschied von der Sachlichkeit: Wie Sie mit Emotionen tatsächlich für Bewegung sorgen (2015)" by Markus Hornung, published at BusinessVillage Verlag, and was left to us for reprint.
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At seminars, in direct contact with our customers, we regularly collect emotion-killing phrases - here is an overview of the top 10.

Emotional killer phrases in communication: The top 10 killer phrases emotional killer phrases

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Here writes for you: Markus Hornung is a consultant and speaker on emotional intelligence. Profile

From the author:

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So important is emotional intelligence

Overview

Emotional killer phrases are usually meaningless communication - usually geared to make emotions in other people's gut. In fact, they only show our own inability to handle it.

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How important the intelligent handling of emotions is, I would like to clarify once again with a definition: Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive one's own emotions and the emotions of others as well as the values ​​behind them.

Dealing with feelings

Overview

This includes differentiating (ie, distinguishing) from one another, believing in a credible way and dealing with them in a forward-looking and purposeful way.

The whole in such a way that in the interplay with rational minds and behaviors comes a conclusion of the situation beneficial for all concerned.

Why recognition is important!

Overview

You know that defining a definition of emotional intelligence is not complete or impracticable without the central notion of recognition.

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This is largely due to the fact that a change or detachment from this state is not possible without prior recognition of an emotional state.

"It's okay that I have emotions"

Overview

This applies both to one's own emotions and to the emotions of others. The empowering attitude here is, "It is perfectly okay for me to have that emotion," or, "It's perfectly okay for my opposite to have that emotion."

The discussion described here is a bit explosive, because it challenges some of the most widely used utterances.

Leave the emotional killer phrases away!

Overview

So when I am asked as a trainer for emotional intelligence after the don'ts, my first and only answer is:

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If we take a look at the collection of these eloquent speeches, we are amazed not only about their abundance, but also on a narrow line between tragedy and comedy.

When unwanted emotions are amplified

Overview

Because the common of all emotional killer phrases is that they can not reach your goal of getting the others to show off their emotions. In most cases, the (disregarded) use even leads to an increase in unwanted emotions.

Many of these emotional killer phrases are also used to donate comfort in moments of grief, a fundamentally wonderful and honorable intention. Unfortunately, the sadness is not easy to impress or even disappear.

Advice is also punches

Overview

Two classics of this group are, for example, "Other mothers have beautiful daughters!" And "Until the wedding, everything will be fine!"

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The little consoling effect of such well-intentioned advice has certainly been felt by each of us on our own body. Because: Advice is also punches.

The top 10 of emotional killer phrases

Overview

We have been collecting these speeches for years in our seminars and know that anyone who uses them will certainly make a lasting impression, but unfortunately not the one he wanted to achieve.

Let's take a look at the top 10 of emotional killer phrases we've found, to get an in-depth look at where the rabbit is going.

Typical killer phrases and their effect

Overview

The following 10 Puntke should give you an idea of ​​how typical emotional killer phrases work and work in communication.

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In order to illustrate the actual effect, I once wrote my spontaneous reaction, which is, of course, openly communicated in the most recent cases:

The top ten emotional killer phrases

Overview

Place 10

Overview

"It could have been worse!"

"Says who? What could be worse? And what good is that to me? "

Place 9

Overview

"Do not get worked up like that!"

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"I'm upset !!"

Place 8

Overview

"Now calm down!"

"Why should I? This gets on my nerves! I do not calm down just because you want that! "

Place 7

Overview

"That's not so bad!"

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"But! Is it! For me it is even a reason to relax! "

Place 6

Overview

"Time heals all wounds!"

"I know that yourself, you smartass! But at the moment I have no time and I feel bad right now! "

Place 5

Overview

"Life goes on!"

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"Of course, that's also known to me! Why should that make me feel better now? "

Place 4

Overview

"That will (be) again!"

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"I know that and I'm not interested in that at the moment!"

Place 3

Overview

"Do not turn a mosquito into an elephant!"

"I'll give you your mosquito, you ignoramus! This is an elephant for me !!! "

Place 2

Overview

"You do not have to be scared"

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"You tell me now? I already have it! I have already assessed the situation some time ago and in my brain all messenger substances that make up the emotion are already released and make my neurons firing! Should I tell them now that they have to stop because I supposedly had a perception problem a few seconds ago? "

Place 1

Overview

Place 1 of the emotional killer phrases deserves the following sentence: "Now let us stay factual!"

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