Emotional killer phrases in communication: The worst of all phrases


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Text comes from: Der Abschied von der Sachlichkeit: Wie Sie mit Emotionen tatsächlich für Bewegung sorgen (2015) by Markus Hornung, published by BusinessVillage Verlag, Reprints by friendly permission of the publisher.
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There is a Top10 of emotional killer phrases. But which is the worst of all phrases?

Emotional killer phrases in communication: the worst of all phrases fear

Here writes for you:

Markus Hornung HornungMarkus Hornung is a consultant and speaker on emotional intelligence.

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In the standard repertoire of executives

I am well aware that even classifying the phrase "You needn't be afraid" as an emotional killer phrase will cause some of you eyebrows or head shakes to be raised.

It belongs to the standard repertoire of all understanding parents and executives. Nevertheless, it is a classic example of senseless communication! The situation has already been assessed - that is, compared with the value system.

Emotions are a neurological fact!

The corresponding neurotransmitters have already been released in the brain, whirling back and forth in the limbic system, producing a neurological fireworks, which we call an emotion, in millions of nerve cells. Including the typical somatic markers.

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This emotion is a neurological-physiological fact at this moment, and if this emotion is fear, for example, the phrase "You don't need to be afraid!" Sense! The fear is already there!

Try it!

With a similar justification, you could go to any pedestrian on the street and say to him:

"You don't need to have the arm that grew on your right shoulder!" Try this a few times and you will notice how your environment reacts to such an absurd admission.

Anxiety at the push of a button does not go

That unites your employees and colleagues with all those who are simply unable to make the fear disappear at the push of a button, just because you think he was mistaken a few seconds or minutes ago in assessing the situation.

They realize that we all have these words in the repertoire when it comes to the fact that we are simply overwhelmed with the emotion of another and do not know exactly how to deal with it.

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Repertoire for excessive demands

The collection can also be expanded almost arbitrarily. I would like to end it with the “mother of all emotional killer phrases”.

This classic is especially popular in business meetings. The big problem with this is that it leaves the recipient with at most the choice between the most annoying rebellion and defiant withdrawal.

The number 1 of the killer phrases

It is absurdly used particularly in situations where people do exactly what the owners and top executives are supposed to expect from companies:

Engaged in their passion in this same company, motivated and possibly even with passion and enthusiasm!

The top ten emotional killer phrases place 1

"Now let's stay factual!"

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Sachlichkeit is not human

In 99,99 percent of all cases, when that phrase falls, people do not breathe deeply, lean back in Buddhist serenity, and then be factual!

Dear readers! The request to stay factual may be understandable from time to time. But their fulfillment is not in human nature.

The opposite of emotional intelligence

At least not as long as an emotion is the interplay of mind and body, both reacting to an external stimulus!

It is this saying that I hold to be the exact opposite of what we mean by Emotional Intelligence.

Recognize emotions

This practicality, as desired by the - seemingly - rational speaker, will not exist as long as the emotions shown have not been recognized as what they are, decision - making factors and communication signals.

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From the perspective of using emotional killer phrases or to which emotions particularly many of them are used, from my point of view it is also possible to read the social acceptance of the individual emotions.

Emotions that are socially unrecognized

Here stands out in a special way the particularly important emotion grief, whose sincere recognition seems to us particularly difficult.

Because often enough it should be displaced by others, but also by the mourner, fought and best stalled - instead of giving time to mourn in peace. And that is exactly what would be infinitely important.


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