Emotional killer phrases in communication: The worst of all phrases



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Reprint: This text is from the book "Der Abschied von der Sachlichkeit: Wie Sie mit Emotionen tatsächlich für Bewegung sorgen (2015)" by Markus Hornung, published at BusinessVillage Verlag, and was left to us for reprint.
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There is a Top10 of emotional killer phrases. But which is the worst of all phrases?

Emotional killer phrases in communication: the worst of all phrases fear

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Here writes for you: Markus Hornung is a consultant and speaker on emotional intelligence. Profile

In the standard repertoire of executives

Overview

I am well aware that even the phrase "you need not be afraid" as an emotional killer phrase will cause eyebrows or shake of your head.

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It belongs to the standard repertoire of all understanding parents and executives. Nevertheless, it is a classic example of senseless communication! The situation has already been assessed - that is, compared with the value system.

Emotions are a neurological fact!

Overview

The corresponding neurotransmitters have already been released in the brain, whirling back and forth in the limbic system, producing a neurological fireworks, which we call an emotion, in millions of nerve cells. Including the typical somatic markers.

This emotion is a neurological-physiological fact right now, and if that emotion is fear, for example, the phrase "you need not be afraid!", As well-meaning and reassuring as it may be, makes no sense! The fear is already there!

Try it!

Overview

With a similar justification, you could go to any pedestrian on the street and say to him:

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"You do not need the arm that has grown on your right shoulder!" Try it a few times and you will notice how your environment reacts to such an absurd admission.

Anxiety at the push of a button does not go

Overview

That unites your employees and colleagues with all those who are simply unable to make the fear disappear at the push of a button, just because you think he was mistaken a few seconds or minutes ago in assessing the situation.

They realize that we all have these words in the repertoire when it comes to the fact that we are simply overwhelmed with the emotion of another and do not know exactly how to deal with it.

Repertoire for excessive demands

Overview

Also, the collection can be extended almost arbitrarily. However, I would like to conclude with the "mother of all emotional killer phrases".

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This classic is especially popular in business meetings. The big problem with this is that it leaves the recipient with at most the choice between the most annoying rebellion and defiant withdrawal.

The number 1 of the killer phrases

Overview

It is absurdly used in situations where people are doing exactly what the owners and top executives are doing Company supposedly expect:

Engaged in their passion in this same company, motivated and possibly even with passion and enthusiasm!

The top ten emotional killer phrases place 1

Overview

"Now let us stay factual!"

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Sachlichkeit is not human

Overview

In 99,99 percent of all cases, when that phrase falls, people do not breathe deeply, lean back in Buddhist serenity, and then be factual!

Dear readers! The request to stay factual may be understandable from time to time. But their fulfillment is not in human nature.

The opposite of emotional intelligence

Overview

At least not as long as an emotion is the interplay of mind and body, both reacting to an external stimulus!

It is this saying that I hold to be the exact opposite of what we mean by Emotional Intelligence.

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Recognize emotions

Overview

This practicality, as desired by the - seemingly - rational speaker, will not exist as long as the emotions shown have not been recognized as what they are, decision - making factors and communication signals.

From the perspective of using emotional killer phrases or to which emotions particularly many of them are used, from my point of view it is also possible to read the social acceptance of the individual emotions.

Emotions that are socially unrecognized

Overview

Here stands out in a special way the particularly important emotion grief, whose sincere recognition seems to us particularly difficult.

Because often enough it should be displaced by others, but also by the mourner, fought and best stalled - instead of giving time to mourn in peace. And that is exactly what would be infinitely important.

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