From the author:
3 Steps in dealing with emotions of your fellow human beings
- Step one was to give the emotion space and to perceive it at all.
- Step two consisted in the direct response of the emotion.
- Really elegant and almost final, you convey to your opponent that you have understood him and that you understand what he is talking about when you address the level of his emotions. This is the value level.
Why are values important?
If you manage to address the values behind your emotions, your subconscious mind is, so to speak, the last proof that you have actually and finally understood what it is all about.
Then he turns off the part of the emotion sent as a signal. Then - and only then - does it become factual.
How do you figure out the values?
Now, for several reasons, the question is not at all trivial about how you can find out what is important to you.
Non-trivial is the question because your counterpart in over 90 percent of all cases has no awareness of its value system, so only has a very nebulous "knowledge" or at most a clue about what is actually important to him. In most cases, asking questions does not help.
Just as seldom, your opponent will automatically come up with the idea to help you jump through the value system. It does not generally have the knowledge of the link between values and emotions.
Why are you so upset?
Of course, you could give him the value work you have already done and ask him to fill it in for the current context, that is, the situation in which you both are.
Although this is possible in principle, it should not be practicable. You may also like to hand him a book on the subject. But then you will have to wait a few days before coming to you with the realization "Now I can give you a hint why I got so excited!" And then you can understand that.
Find information about the value system
We must therefore think different ways of discovering the value system of another.
It is helpful that you now know the relationship between values and emotions, and thus, at the sight of an emotional person, get ideas for why it is so emotional much faster.
Especially when you have seen how the emotion came about, it is relatively easy to establish and reflect the immediate connection between the value system and the emotion.
More knowledge - Podcast, PDF download, eCourse or personal advice
Offline download: Download this text as PDF - Read usage rights, Because we do not automatically submit the title of this text for privacy reasons: When buying in "interests" the title register if support is needed. After buying text exclusively Download at this URL (please save).
Listen to Podcast & Download MP3: You can listen to this text for free, as member even without annoying popup, or download the MP3 for a fee - Read usage rights, After the purchase page refresh, then you will find the download link here. Because we do not automatically submit the title of this podcast for privacy reasons: When buying in "interests" the title register if support is needed.
Your eCourse on Demand: Choose your personal eCourse on this or another desired topic, As a PDF download. Up to 30 lessons with each 4 learning task + final lesson. Please enter the title under "interests". Alternatively, we are happy to put together your course for you or offer you a personal regular eMailCourse including supervision and certificate - all further information!
Consultant packages: You want to increase your reach or address applicants as an employer? For these and other topics we offer special Consultant packages (overview) - For example, a personal phone call (price is per hour).