Think about the crisis
Because if you only allow yourself peace, do not think about the crisis and do not change anything, there is the risk that everything will be the same again in the next job.
Even if it sounds unpleasant: To find out in the long term from the crisis and not immediately to stumble into the next, it only helps to deal with what happened. To avoid the danger of repetition, you need to recalibrate the crisis.
Answering the following questions can be helpful:
- What exactly happened?
- How did it happen?
- Which aspects of my behavior contributed to the crisis?
- What could trigger a crisis again?
- Which of my old skills have helped me?
- Which new skills have proven successful?
- How can I deal with crises in the future?
Write the answers to these questions for yourself. Or talk to your partner or friends about it. However, there is the danger that these have a subjective view of things.
Look for help
It is better to look for a coach as a neutral conversation partner. In conversations, you can analyze for which part of the crisis the perhaps objectively difficult circumstances and for which part you were responsible.
As for the difficult circumstances, it will help in the future if you honestly ask yourself why you have tolerated them at all. Or if you have not defended yourself and protected yourself too little and offered yourself as a "victim".
Write a letter
In order to clarify these issues, it may also be helpful at this stage toChef or to write another letter to your ex-boss that you will never send. Tell him what he or she did wrong, but share your thoughts on your part of the responsibility.
If you realize that you are not able to do this because the grudge or pain is still too deep, let the letter lie once. After a few days or weeks, start a new letter, which will surely sound more conciliatory. Why is there talk of reconciliation here? This is the prerequisite to complete the crisis. This is the only way to prevent you from thinking more and more about your boss.
Although it may sound a bit strange at first, a dose of humor can help create the necessary distance for the psychological "processing" of this painful experience.
Try to see the weird side of your setback by exaggerating the characters - both your own and your superiors - the next time you tell this story to friends. It is not only much funnier, but also clearer.
What is your share?
If, after a crisis, you find out about your share of it, you will learn a lot about your personality and thus about your strengths and weaknesses. This is called in the psychological jargon counterfactual thinking or simply as a proverb: Only from mistakes you will be wise!
On the one hand, this applies to the technical level - in reality, you may not be as creative as you thought, but better able to analyze and organize. But they also learn on the personal and social level.
What the crisis shows you
Perhaps it is only through the crisis that you realize how harmonious or perfectionist you really are. This insight helps you, on the one hand, to deal better with these weaknesses in the future and, on the other hand, to assess in good time where there might be problems.
Conclusion: Of course you need after a crisis recovery and often a longer vacation. But you also have to think constructively about the crisis and think about what you can do better so that you do not fall back into the same trap after the recovery!
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