Reason for misunderstandings
German language, difficult language - this is even true for native speakers. Because the probability of stepping into a faux pas while talking is great. And that can be really embarrassing, especially in your professional life.
Not always do other people understand us exactly as we say. Quite classic is the lunch break example: "Oh, it's already twelve o'clock" says colleague Meier and says: "Man, we worked so well and earned our lunch break". But colleague Müller understands something else, namely: "We were so slow and now it is already 12 clock" - and is promptly snapped.
The relationship between the conversation partners is important
The reason for such misunderstandings is that communication does not just happen on a factual level. This means that with every statement, we not only hear the pure content - in our example, the time "It is 12 clock", but usually interpret something else.
What, in turn, depends on the relationship we have to the speaker, both emotionally and socially. We may hear what is said on the scene, but understand something else on the level of the relationship. The fact that Ms Müller is insulted by the statement of your colleague Meier says a lot about the relationship between the two to each other: Apparently she is criticized by him more often and therefore evaluates even harmless statements as criticism.
Misunderstandings can lead to problems
Even if this example is still relatively harmless - especially in everyday working life such misunderstandings can lead to serious problems. At lunch time, colleague Meier asks colleagues Schmitt, who was promoted a few weeks ago: "Well, are you happy in your new position?" He is just curious and wants to do small talk.
However, Mr Schmitt, who has just been struggling with serious difficulties, feels attacked, because he believes the colleague wants to dispute the position with him. From now on, he wants to keep an eye on him. The small question has permanently poisoned the working atmosphere between the two.
12 communication rules for the job
In order to avoid such problems, one should stick to specific communication rules especially in the job. For the help to bypass fat naps. Stern.de shows what you should pay attention to when you do not want to.
- Salutation - never too confidential: As a stranger, you should not address people you do not know, as if you had a familiar relationship with them. This is especially true at different Hierachieebenen or large age differences. For example, you should never duce an adult person without their consent or with a pet name. Such disrespect always seem condescending.
- Presentation - it depends on the order: Anyone who introduces two people to each other on business occasions should strictly adhere to the hierarchy. The rule is that the lower-ranking person is first introduced to the higher-ranking person. If the spouse is present, the hierarchy level derives from that of their partner. So the secretary is first introduced to the manager and his wife - and then vice versa. The same applies to customers: you are the first to be granted the right to know what the employees are called. In doing so, formulations such as "May I have imagine"Or" May I introduce myself ". The question "allow" is now obsolete in the business as well.
- Presentation without hierarchies: If there are no hierarchies - for example, among peers - the rules apply as in the private sphere. This means: the gentleman is presented to the lady first, as well as the younger colleague to the older one. Attention: neither of these two rules takes precedence over the other. So when a younger lady is introduced to an older colleague, one has to intuitively decide which rule has priority. By the way: From five people in a round that is all too complicated. Then you no longer need to worry about hierarchy, gender or age, but the idea takes place Reihum - with newcomers first introduce themselves.
- You or you? In other countries, it has long been naturalized, other people to indiscriminately. In Germany, however, this is still common - which can lead to some problems. Children and adolescents are tutored, as an age limit it is usually the 16. or 18. Birthday. Adults, on the other hand, always say "you," unless they are related, friendly, well-known, or know each other since childhood. In the business environment, the hierarchy decides who can offer the "you" to whom, that is, the higher person offers the "you" - not the other way around. If there are no hierarchies, it is the old and the sex, that is, the older offers the younger to the "you", the lady to the master. Most of the time more consideration for age is taken.
- One you reject? In groups, it can sometimes be useful for a member to suggest the "you" for the entire group. But you should already know each other well, so you can be sure not to surprise anyone, because a you can take back very difficult. Conversely, one can politely decline an offer to duet, such as: "Do not be angry with me, but I prefer to stay with you in the circle of colleagues. But I appreciate your offer as a basis of trust. "To avoid misunderstandings from Vornrein, one can also make it clear at the beginning of an acquaintance how one speaks:" I suggest we stay with you until we know each other a little better "An elegant solution is also the so-called Hamburger Sie - the salutation with the first name, but with" you ".
- Farewell: Certain practices also apply in the case of adoption. Especially during a meeting, a seminar or a business, you can not simply go when it is popular. As a rule, you have to wait for the signal for the start-up, which the moderator, lecturer or host will sound. If you know beforehand that you have to go earlier, you should inform us in advance and provide a good reason.
- Clear events: Anyone who is a moderator or host should end an event with clear words and not demonstratively look at the clock. Recommended are sentences such as: "We arrived at the end of our event. Thank you very much for your attention. "
- Criticize without hurting: Anyone who expresses criticism should pay attention to two things: the criticism should not be emotional, but objective. Packages like "You are always like that ..." should be avoided. And: Criticism should be expressed as close as possible. Because he criticizes another person, for example, in a circle of colleagues, easily playful sympathies. Because the kitized will evaluate the incident as a exposure. If you want to criticize several people, this can also be done in the group. However, nobody should become a scapegoat.
- Use alien and specialist words sparingly: Also in everyday working life: Caution with technical terms. Although one can assume in the job more than in the normal everyday life, that the interlocutors also understand the jargon. However, there is always a danger that other people will be excluded by foreign words or anglicisms that they do not understand. Therefore, especially if you have good German words, you should use them. Talking about "save the date" instead of making an appointment can - and this is just one example - quickly seem ridiculous or conceited.
- Just not too curious: Being inappropriate is also exaggerated curiosity. A special faux pas, for example, is the question of the partner or child wish. But also questions about life planning, personal satisfaction, health, sex or personal fears and worries should be avoided - unless the person starts talking about the topic himself. Otherwise, one can very well with such questions in the foot - especially since not from personal sympathy is asked, but only to satisfy the sensational desire to breastfeed.
- I'm talking, so am I? Just as inappropriate is the opposite: just talk about yourself and assume that others share their own views. But not everyone is interested in their own achievements, career stations, status symbols or successes in the opposite sex - certainly not if it turns into full-length monologues. This seems rather ridiculous than impressive. Equally uncomfortable are people who see their own abilities as a general educational standard and thus give others a sense of inferiority, such as: "What, you did not see this movie ...". In this way, a casual conversation atmosphere is quickly destroyed.
- To avoid too much formality: Some people shoot past the target in an effort to be polite. They make use of exaggerated language in order to sound elected or talk around the subject like the famous hot mush instead of just calling it by the name. Or they use unnecessarily complicated sentence constructions, which they often do not complete. A - deliberately exaggerated - example: Instead of simply asking colleagues if he comes to the canteen, says the colleague: "I would be very grateful if you had the kindness to tell me until tomorrow morning, whether You would possibly dine with me. "Such a thing does not look very polite and elegant, but rather ridiculous. It is always better to express yourself in normal everyday German without becoming too flippant.
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