Speed dating rules for effective communication
What does speed dating have to do with communication? Within a relatively short, fixed time, as many conversation partners as possible should be learned.
These principles, which are known from the search for a partner, also apply when looking for a job, for the reunification of employees and for the job Company, to get to know the participants in seminars or for a professional exchange at trade fairs. They form an excellent basis for our everyday communication. Because it quickly becomes clear that every relationship is communication and every communication relationship.
The first speed dating rule says that we should be "very relaxed". The bar in the head "I have to achieve that" is more of a blockade than a motivating goal. Important is the here and now. Concentrate on what's happening right now!
It is not about difficult negotiations, but about the many conversations during the day. If the inner attitude is correct, it works. If we think badly about a situation or a counterpart, it also comes so over. If, on the other hand, things look positive-constructively, they can also tackle them quite easily.
"Do you even listen to me?" - a question that probably everyone has already heard. Everyday life runs the risk of being "just so casually" done. The conversation 'briefly' with the boss, the colleague, the customer or the employee is led in the best case content-focused. Short, concise, clear - that's how we learned it.
But what is said really only comes when it is expressed in the highest possible presence. That requires confidence in oneself, which also shapes our performances on a small scale. This "self-confidence" has nothing to do with arrogance. It is the confidence to know that I am so well-endowed with talents and abilities that I say and do the right thing at the right time.
Prejudices are limiting. If we meet a counterpart, which reminds us of someone, it is either negative or positive. No matter what it was, it stamped. But everyone has a chance not to be exactly as we expect it to be.
So let us look at differences or look for things that are new, interesting, exciting. If you want to know something, then ask a question. If you want to say something, then say it. The other can not read thoughts.
Interested in the other
So banal as simple and doubly difficult: Listening is a king discipline in communication. Observe how often people do not listen. As a colleague tells of the holiday.
The others are not really interested in what he says and prefer to share their own story. If two talk, this is far from being a dialogue. Very often, so-called double monologues - both tell their story alternately. As a reminder: If we are really interested in our counterpart, we will be richer!
Being friendly costs nothing
"Put on your friendly face, show your joy of meeting someone. You gain more as an authentic positive person ". This is what the "Guide to Data" says. Imagine, the conversation at the dating table begins with the words "Hello, I'm Peter.
I had a serious youth, at the moment I have no money and my boss breaks me down. "Honesty in all honors ... but we do not win flowers! Without inner, positive attitude, we are really successful neither in the date nor in everyday life. Positive behaviors are enhanced by a positive response, which in turn makes it easier to be friendly and trusting.
Start with a nice word
With all interest, presence, laxity, etc. - at some point we start to talk. A good reason to be charming and harmless from the beginning. Only in the course of the conversation, we will get to know our counterpart a little closer.
That's why experienced Speed-Daters recommend: start with a praise. Everyone likes to hear something positive. Let's create this microcosm of the constructive aura and a positive start to the conversation. "Wear beautiful glasses!" Or "Thank you for leaving me the place."
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