Part information: The milieu as a defining factor
In every form of communication, content is conveyed - articulated by the spoken word - in passing, on the phone, on a trip together, etc. And no less than in a lecture or presentation, this effortlessly formulated information makes up only a fraction of what what is received by the interlocutor. The big “rest” are taken over by other influencing factors:
The milieu is the defining factor. Where is the communication taking place? At a sales fair, at the research lab, at the construction site? With their often hidden codes, milieufaktoren create an aura of belonging.
Sellers have their own language, regardless of industry and company, they have managers, as well as caretakers, controllers or IT specialists. They all speak “their” language. Statements such as “typically executive floor”, “typically IT staff” or “typically salesperson” underline that there are language variants that are specific to the occupations or to the company and that have evolved significantly over time.
The role as an established element
Our language varies depending on who we are in dialogue with, which role we are taking on. Every communication establishes itself with the role determination. When talking to regular customers, the role is different than when talking to the boss.
Everyday dialogues emerge very quickly from regulated role patterns. If the roles are unclear or they first have to develop, that initially costs energy. Who is who? What role do I have in mind? Am I “only the representative” or “the competent advisor”?
Speed dating rules for effective communication
That's why speed dating is so interesting. But what does speed dating have to do with communication? As many conversation partners as possible should get to know a little more within a relatively short, fixed time.
These principles, which are known from the search for a partner, also apply when looking for a job, for the reunification of employees and for the job Company, to get to know the participants in seminars or for a professional exchange at trade fairs. They form an excellent basis for our everyday communication. Because it quickly becomes clear that every relationship is communication and every communication relationship.
The first speed dating rule says that we should be "very relaxed". The bar in my head “I have to achieve this” is more a blockade than a motivating goal. The here and now is important. Focus on what's happening right now!
It is not about difficult negotiations, but about the many conversations during the day. If the inner attitude is correct, it works. If we think badly about a situation or a counterpart, it also comes so over. If, on the other hand, things look positive-constructively, they can also tackle them quite easily.
"Are you listening to me at all?" - a question that everyone has probably heard. Everyday life runs the risk of being done “just by the way”. In the best case, the conversation 'briefly' with the boss, colleague, customer or employee is focused on content. In a nutshell, clearly - that's how we learned it.
But what is said only really arrives when it is uttered in the highest possible presence. This requires trust in yourself, which also shapes our appearances on a small scale. This "confidence" has nothing to do with arrogance. It is confidence in yourself to know that I am so well endowed with talents and skills that I say and do the right thing at the right time.
Prejudices are limiting. If we meet a counterpart, which reminds us of someone, it is either negative or positive. No matter what it was, it stamped. But everyone has a chance not to be exactly as we expect it to be.
So let us look at differences or look for things that are new, interesting, exciting. If you want to know something, then ask a question. If you want to say something, then say it. The other can not read thoughts.
Interested in the other
So banal as simple and doubly difficult: Listening is a king discipline in communication. Observe how often people do not listen. As a colleague tells of the holiday.
The others are not really interested in what he says and prefer to share their own story. If two talk, this is far from being a dialogue. Very often, so-called double monologues - both tell their story alternately. As a reminder: If we are really interested in our counterpart, we will be richer!
Being friendly costs nothing
“Put on your friendly face, show your joy in meeting someone. You gain more as an authentically positive person ”. So it is in the “Guide to data”. Let's imagine the conversation at the dating table begins with the words “Hello, I'm Peter.
I had a difficult youth, at the moment I have no money and my boss is breaking me. ” Honesty in all honor ... but we don't win flowers like that! Without an inner, positive attitude, we are not really successful on a date or in everyday life. Positive behaviors are reinforced by a positive response, which in turn makes it easier to be friendly and trusting.
Start with a nice word
Bei allem Interesse, Präsenz, Lockerheit usw. – irgendwann beginnen wir zu reden. Ein guter Grund, von Anfang an charmant und unverfänglich zu sein. Erst im Verlauf des Gesprächs werden wir unser Gegenüber etwas näher kennen lernen.
That's why experienced speed daters recommend: Start with praise. Everyone likes to hear something positive. Let us create this microcosm of the constructive aura and by starting a positive conversation. "You wear beautiful glasses!" or "Thank you for leaving the place to me."
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