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Communication in the company & the success of the banal: Learning from speed dating

Communication is always and everywhere. Demanding conversation situations are one thing. However, ninety percent of business life is unspectacular normality. The success takes place in the allegedly banal, where often little time remains, to leave a good impression.

speed Dating

Part information: The milieu as a defining factor

In any form of Communication content is conveyed - articulated through the spoken word - in passing, on the phone, on a journey together, etc. And, unlike in a lecture or presentation, this usually effortlessly formulated information only accounts for a fraction of what reaches the conversation partner. The majority of the "rest" are taken over by other influencing factors:

The milieu is the defining factor. Where is the communication taking place? At a sales fair, at the research lab, at the construction site? With their often hidden codes, milieufaktoren create an aura of belonging.

Salespeople have their own language, regardless of industry and company, managers have one, as do caretakers, controllers or IT specialists. They all maintain “their” language. Statements such as “typical executive floor”, “typical IT people” or “typical salespeople” underline that there are language variants that are specific to the job or that have an internal milieu that have evolved significantly over time.

The role as an established element

Our language varies depending on who we are in dialogue with, i.e. what role we are currently taking on. Every communication is established with the definition of roles. When talking to regular customers, the role is different from when talking to the Manager.

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Everyday dialogues emerge very quickly from regulated role models. If the roles are unclear or if they have to be developed first, it costs energy. Who is who? What is my role? Am I “just the representation” or “the competent advisor”?

Speed ​​dating rules for effective communication

That's why speed dating is so interesting. But what does speed dating have to do with communication? As many conversation partners as possible should get to know a little more within a relatively short, fixed time.

These principles, which are known from the search for a partner, also apply when looking for a job, for the reunification of employees and for the job Company , to get to know the participants in seminars or for a professional exchange at trade fairs. They form an excellent basis for our everyday communication. Because it quickly becomes clear that every relationship is communication and every communication relationship.

Keep calm

The first speed dating rule says that we should be "very relaxed". The bolt in the head “I have to achieve this” is more of a blockage than a motivating factor Objective. The here and now is important. Focus on what is happening right now!

It is not about difficult negotiations, but about the many conversations during the day. If the inner attitude is correct, it works. If we think badly about a situation or a counterpart, it also comes so over. If, on the other hand, things look positive-constructively, they can also tackle them quite easily.

Confident occur

“Are you even listening to me?” - a question that everyone has probably heard. Everyday things run the risk of being done “just on the side”. The 'short' conversation with the boss, colleague, customer or employee is, in the best case, content-focused. Short, tight, clear - that's how we learned it.

But what has been said only really makes a difference if it is uttered with the greatest possible presence. That requires trust in yourself, which also shapes our appearances on a small scale. This "self-confidence" has nothing to do with arrogance. It is the confidence in yourself to know that I am so endowed with talents and skills that I will say and do the right thing at the right time.

Stay open

Prejudices are limiting. If we meet a counterpart, which reminds us of someone, it is either negative or positive. No matter what it was, it stamped. But everyone has a chance not to be exactly as we expect it to be.

So let us look at differences or look for things that are new, interesting, exciting. If you want to know something, then ask a question. If you want to say something, then say it. The other can not read thoughts.

Interested in the other

So banal as simple and doubly difficult: Listening is a king discipline in communication. Observe how often people do not listen. As a colleague tells of the holiday.

The others are not really interested in what he says and prefer to share their own story. If two talk, this is far from being a dialogue. Very often, so-called double monologues - both tell their story alternately. As a reminder: If we are really interested in our counterpart, we will be richer!

Being friendly costs nothing

“Put on your friendly face, show your joy in meeting someone. You gain more as an authentically positive person ”. This is what it says in the "Guide to Data". Let's imagine the conversation at the dating table starts with the words “Hello, I'm Peter.

I had a difficult youth, at the moment I have no money and my boss is ruining me. ”Honesty with all honors ... but we don't win flowers that way! Without an inner, positive attitude, we are not really successful on dates or in everyday life. Positive behavior is reinforced by a positive response, which in turn makes it easier to be friendly and trustworthy.

Start with a nice word

With all interest, presence, looseness, etc. - at some point we start to talk. A good reason to be charming and innocuous from the start. Only in the course of the conversation will we get to know our counterpart a little better.

Therefore, experienced speed daters recommend: Start with praise. Everyone likes to hear something positive. Let's create this microcosm of the constructive aura and through a positive start into the conversation. "You are wearing beautiful glasses!" Or "Thank you for letting me have the space."

 

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