Learning to coach: The 3 central aspects of coaching



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Coaching is for us a form of support, for which we formally burn. And do not misunderstand us: any form of support or counseling has an existence right on this planet (especially if it helps).

Learning to coach: The 3 central aspects of coaching coaching

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Oliver Bartels Oliver_Bartels_swOliver Bartels is a coach and consultant.

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What is coaching?

Overview

There are countless definitions of coaching. If you encounter contradictory approaches, do not be surprised. It is and remains impressive, confusing and momentarily disconcerting, which is all wrapped up in the coat of coaching and sold in it.

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The joke is: coaching works. For this, coaching clients do not have to believe, do not have to understand theories and do not have to change their attitudes.

The opinion of customers

Overview

We asked our coaching clients and students about their coaching after coaching. Your answers, immediately after the (first) experience, allow an approximation to the term coaching and what can happen there:

  • A (coaching client): "For me, coaching is a well-marked path, a well-framed program that made me feel amazingly free to think, feel and act."
  • B (Student): "Coaching is a way of working for me to change my life for the better."
  • C (coaching client): "For me, coaching is a very human collaboration that has freed and motivated me and that has brought me great steps forward."
  • D (Coaching client): "I would see coaching as a ship that gives me the security of arriving at the right port, no matter what."
  • E (course participant): "Always thinking, how do I achieve something - how do I get something - how do I do it - HOW?"

The first time

Overview

In summary, one can say that people do not know exactly what to expect before their "first time". How should you? It's basically like every "first time".

It is only after the (first) own experiences that the picture of what has happened is sharpened. In the case of coaching this is then described as a way, framework, scaffolding or program. Perhaps also as a companion, clarification process, time or feeling journey.

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The solution of a problem

Overview

Of course, the words clients use to describe their experience are closely related to the way a coach works. Often coaching clients are relieved to enthusiastic or surprised to discover that coaching is really about their own solutions, their own problems.

That there are solutions to seemingly unsolvable problems and that they find these solutions themselves. The results of this successful work are then associated with "positive change", "way out", "competencies" or "self-responsibility".

The 3 central aspects of coaching

Overview

Whatever the coaching experience, advice or support, there are always three key points:

  1. The coach puts the coaching client at the center of attention.
  2. The coach supports and appreciates the client 100% -ig.
  3. The client works independently on his own solution. (This is also the chance in coaching and the imperative for the coach!)

A question of delimitation

Overview

During our day-to-day work we noticed that even experienced coaches seem to find it easier to describe what coaching is not. And it's seemingly difficult to say: That's coaching. That's the way it is.

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Often this circumstance is criticized for the description of the "negative". And it is also conceivable that "negatively describing" your own image of coaching at first glance might appear blurry and foggy.

From our point of view, however, there is nothing to complain about when someone describes "something is not". If we assume that people learn and perceive through differentiation, then grasping things can just as well be done by demarcation.

The example with the fruit

Overview

Imagine for a moment that they do not know what fruit is. Somebody tells you, apples are fruits, bananas too, but they look different. Oranges, on the other hand, are similar to apples but are quite different.

What do you know about fruit now, if you do not know fruit? Sometimes it can be helpful for the comprehension to create boundaries on the same conceptual level, instead of just delivering examples: Fruit is different from vegetables.

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It depends on the perception

Overview

Put simply, fruit is usually sweet (and therefore different than vegetables). Meat is of animal origin and fruit is vegetable. You can eat both ...

You see, for perception and learning or comprehension it can also be helpful to say "what is not", as to say, "what is". Often it will probably work best to combine both.

The packaging should fit the content

Overview

However, here, as with all products, the packaging should correspond to the content.

  • If supervision is in it, do not call it coaching.
  • If there are advices in it, do not call it systemic-constructivist coaching.
  • If psychotherapy is in, do not call it coaching.
  • In short, call a one-night stand not marriage and your wife is not mutti.

How to learn coaching?

Overview

Both the questioning techniques and tools as well as the attitude to keep out of the problem of the coaching client can be learned.

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And as is often the case here: If one considers coaching in this way, then it is primarily an attitude and a technique and not a profession or a vocation. It is the opportunity to help others develop their own solutions.

The essentials in brief!

Overview

  • What? Customized accompaniment. Solution-oriented process.
  • Who? The problem holder. The coach.
  • When? In every key moment of life.
  • From where? By self-recognized needs.
  • For what? To achieve the stated objectives.
  • As? In a process of change, which focuses on individual development and personal skills.
  • Why? To achieve more success, greater performance or autonomy or satisfaction, happiness, self-knowledge and / or mind filling.

The first time?

Overview

Whether you have been supporting other people through coaching for a long time, or are on your way to the first time, you can make a difference for clients.

In our coaching trainings, participants often can not believe on the first day that they can coach themselves successfully and beneficially soon. Maybe the first "first times" in coaching sometimes seem a bit stiffer than the later "first times". The results always make a difference for the client. We are convinced of that.

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